


what a boy wants

by taeils



Category: Block B
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:51:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeils/pseuds/taeils
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>after four years of increasing monotony, a bad relationship, loneliness, and a loss of self confidence, famous songwriter woo jiho decides to finally make some changes in his life. starting with - but not limited to - a talented singer he discovers at a karaoke bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what a boy wants

**Author's Note:**

> there are a lot of... weird details. you'll probably ask yourself, "where is the paparazzi if he's so famous? is that really how a songwriter writes songs? why is the company nameless? is that how signing a new artist to a company goes? who would actually go to a karaoke bar to scout talented singers?" well, unfortunately, i do not have answers. i know next to nothing about how anything works in the music industry, so i am very sorry for all the inaccuracies and strange occurrences. as for the paparazzi, think of this as a kdrama or something. there are a lot of dramas where famous people do shit and there are no reporters around hah ah ha ha.... alas i am only making excuses i apologize for this entire fic thank you for even considering reading it i'll just.... leave now....  
> oh, one other thing, i was kind of hurrying to get this whole thing done before i go back to school (which is tomorrow ha hah a...) so i apologize in advance if anything feels rushed or if there are any missing details/plot holes/things seem off.

if there’s one thing jiho hates, it’s hearing his hit singles on the radio. he’s not sure why he ever puts on the radio, anyway, there’s never anything worth listening to.

perfect way to ruin a decent mood, honestly. all he has to hear are the first three notes to get a headache, and then he’s pulling over, resisting the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel because there’s always at least one reporter watching and he’d very much rather avoid being in the headlines when he’s not working on a new song.

oh, he can see it now: “footage of world famous songwriter woo jiho showcasing violent behavior surfaces on the net.” he’d never be able to live it down.

with a disgruntled sigh, he settles for promptly turning the radio off and tapping his fingers irritably on the steering wheel. it takes a moment for it to occur to him that he’d been tapping to the tune of the song, and the realization has him grunting and balling his hands into fists as he watches the stoplight with rapt attention.

it’s not that he hates the music he writes, per se. he just hates how much other people eat it up, even when it’s not good.

he used to be better. back when he first started, he was legendary. listening to his old songs is like entering a completely different universe. they’re raw, heartfelt, and with purpose. he doesn’t mind hearing his old songs so much.

but those aren’t the ones that get played on the radio. no, the public prefers his newer songs, the ones where he was paid to write something mainstream, something that would reach out to all audiences. it all sounds to fake to jiho’s ears. he has to make a paycheck somehow, though.

it’s fifteen minutes to his house from the traffic light. he’s only stopped at one more light, and the sight of his garage is more than a little relieving. he wants nothing more than make up a pot of coffee and relax, maybe watch some tv, forget all about that song he’d sold only an hour ago for the company’s new debuting girl group.

the last song was only a few months ago. it feels like years, but with the group releasing it only last week, he supposes it hasn’t been that long. turning out songs in a few days has become more of a habit than a hobby by now.

he sits in his car for a few minutes after he’s parked, head against the headrest and limbs limp.

is there a point? should he quit? give everything up? start over? his life has become so routine over the past four years, he hardly knows where he would even begin.

and then, exhaling deeply, he finally gets out, locking the vehicle and heading inside.

the first thing he notices is that there’s an extra pair of designer sneakers by the door. he stiffens involuntarily, already knowing who they belong to. reaching into his pocket, he brings out a pack of cigarettes and retrieves one. using the lighter from his other pocket to light it. upon entering the kitchen, he sees his visitor.

“you didn’t call,” jiho says, startling the other male into looking up from the coffee he’d been preparing. “i thought i told you not to come without telling me, kyung. what if i’d been busy? or out?”

“the news said you’d be delivering a new song today,” kyung says in his defense, frowning. “besides, you’re never that busy.” jiho rolls his eyes, raising the cigarette to his lips as he leans against the doorframe. there he goes again, acting like he has any clue what jiho’s life is like.

“how would you know?” jiho says curtly, “the only time you’re ever around anymore is when one of my new songs comes out.” kyung gives him an affronted look.

“come on, jiho, i have my own life, too, you know,” the other male says, pouring the coffee into the mug he’d gotten out. he gets a second one, filling it, as well, and holding it out for jiho. “i come when i have time.”

“you mean when you’re horny,” jiho mutters, taking a sip. he instantly regrets it, expression becoming sour. “god, your coffee still tastes like shit. you’ve had all these years to get better at it and you still make the same damn ass-flavored crap.”

kyung suppresses a smile now, amusement lifting his brows. “maybe your taste buds are jacked. it tastes fine to me,” he pretends to toast with the taller male’s mug, taking a sip, himself. “i’m a rapper, not a professional coffee maker. honestly, you’re the only person i know who dislikes my coffee.”

“you mean i’m the only person you know who has any common sense,” jiho rolls his eyes again, putting the mug down and opting instead for his cigarette. he’d definitely have preferred to make his own coffee.

“it’s good, you know,” kyung says, taking another sip from his mug. jiho cocks a brow at him. “your newest song, i mean. the one for that idol group’s comeback.”

jiho resists the urge to rolls his eyes yet again. leave it to park kyung to compliment him when it’s unnecessary. “thanks, i guess,” he shrugs. “just completing a job.”

“come on, that doesn’t sound like my woo jiho,” the shorter male clicks his tongue against his teeth, teasingly giving jiho a look. his words strike something in jiho, though, his face slowly hardening.

“i haven’t been yours for a long while,” he says quietly after a pause. “stop talking like you know anything about me, kyung.”

his response wipes the playful expression off kyung’s face, the shorter male’s eyes widening and jaw slackening in astonishment. he stares at jiho for a long moment, speech evading him. finally, he sets his mug down and crosses to where jiho stands, giving the blond a once over before hesitantly raising his arms and tugging jiho closer, burying his face against jiho’s chest.

in the past, this had been jiho’s favorite position. even in his darkest moods, when nothing he wrote was good enough and insomnia clawed at his eyelids, he could find solace in the way kyung clung to him, the way kyung’s mouth felt on his and seemed to suck all the air from his lungs.

but in the past, kyung had been there for jiho. he’d come when jiho called, had listened when jiho felt like ripping his work to shreds. in turn, jiho had been there for him.

now they hardly ever talk, kyung only stopping by after one of jiho’s songs is released; like somehow the only time he’s interested in jiho is when he gets the reminder of how popular jiho really is. jiho had tried to keep in contact, but he’d given up along the way when kyung stopped responding to text messages, when missed calls went unreturned for months and the older boy would come over wearing some other guy’s cologne every goddamn time he finally decided to show up at jiho’s door.

this time, it’s a rich scent, probably an expensive brand belonging to kyung’s new fling. it makes jiho nauseous.

“i thought you said you wouldn’t smoke,” kyung says softly, voice muffled in the fabric of jiho’s sweater.

jiho snorts, making a show of bringing the cigarette to his lips and taking a long, deep drag from it. “i thought you said you’d stop fucking other guys,” he responds, venom-laced words trailing out with the smoke. at that, kyung flinches back, arms falling to his sides, eyes wide again. “who’s the sugar daddy this time? an older guy? or maybe you’re into younger guys now, how would i know.” with the way kyung’s face contorts, jiho knows he’s hit a nerve.

“his name’s minhyuk,” the shorter male says waveringly, progressive anger affecting his voice. “and he treats me better than you ever have.”

“oh?” jiho actually has to stifle a laugh now. he’s not that surprised that kyung is pulling this. it’s always only been about kyung. “i guess that’s excluding all the times i cancelled important meetings because you needed support. i guess that’s excluding all the times i was your shoulder to cry on because your company fucked you over. i guess that’s excluding all the times i went to bat for you when nobody else would.” as he speaks, kyung gradually shrinks back, seeming to regret his choice of words. “all of the encouragement? the times i went out of my way to cheer you up when i knew you were having a rough time? the shit i went through to get you signed to a better company? i guess it must be excluding that, too, huh. because i’ve always treated you like shit, haven’t i.”

“jiho, that’s not-”

“not what you meant, right?” jiho finishes for him, arching a brow. “but isn’t it?”

kyung squirms, discomfort plain on his face. he knows jiho is right. jiho is validly calling him out, and he has no excuses, no possible comeback up his sleeve, and god, it makes jiho mad. the older boy doesn’t even try to defend himself. and that’s the last straw, really.

“get out,” jiho says quietly. “just… leave. don’t come back here after this. i don’t want to see you again.”

“jiho, that can’t be what you want…” kyung takes a step toward him.

“you don’t know what i want!” jiho shouts, the sudden noise causing kyung to flinch back. he gazes at jiho for a moment longer, looking uncertain and bitter. as he turns to go, though, jiho remembers. “wait,” he says. this prompts the shorter male to turn around again, a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but it vanishes when jiho goes on, “key.” puzzlement flashes across kyung’s face. “your spare key. leave it on the counter.”

“you really don’t leave any room for open endings, huh,” the older boy says, unamused as he fishes the key out of his pocket. “fine, have it your way. unlike you, i have other people i can go to. while it will hurt you greatly to lose my presence in your life, i won’t even notice that yours is gone.” he ungraciously tosses the key onto the floor. “i’ll miss your desperate text messages. you were always so needy, like a damn spoiled kid.”

and with that, he walks out of the kitchen. after a moment, jiho hears the slamming of the back door.

with the room empty, jiho is suddenly hyper aware of kyung’s statement.

as pathetic as it is, he’s right - jiho doesn’t have anybody. it’s sickening, nausea washing over him again worse than before. he’d never tried too hard to befriend anyone in the industry, and any friends he’d had before making it big had long since lost contact with him.

jiho is suddenly struck by how alone he is. how people are only interested in woo jiho the songwriter, not woo jiho the human being.

he has a reputation for having an iron will, for being indestructible and never being affected by anything; and yet here the proof is. that woo jiho is weak. that woo jiho is breakable and overly emotional and godawful bad at dealing with just about everything.

as if it weren’t already bad enough that he can’t even enjoy making music anymore.

abruptly, he drops his cigarette into his coffee mug, picks the mug up, and hurls it across the room where it shatters against the wall.

****  
  


 

there’s only one place that jiho ever feels at ease in. it’s this dingy karaoke bar, rather dimly lit and badly kept, but despite its appearance, it’s usually frequented by lowkey talented singers who don’t have the connections to get anywhere in the music industry.

jiho’s always liked listening to these singers. they have the same quality he started out with, that same raw, emotional feeling. jiho feeds off it, incapable of the feeling it anymore, himself. he’ll put on a disguise, hide his identity, and escape into the world that he misses so much.

there’s one singer in particular that he pays keen attention to: a short, dark-haired boy with thick-rimmed glasses and a voice like a broadway professional. he’s usually hanging around the bar on the weekends, belting out ballads and rock songs and jiho always frees up those days to come and listen. it’s the kind of voice that he wants to abuse, to write song after song for and see just how far he can push it.

perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to come here like this, jiho thinks belatedly. without a disguise, clearly emotionally unstable. the bartender notices right away, but he’s usually perceptive of jiho’s moods. he’s the only one who knows jiho’s identity, having requested id the first time he’d come.

“is everything okay?” he asks, hesitantly preparing the drink the songwriter had ordered. “you don’t look so good.”

“oh yeah, everything’s great,” jiho says stiffly, flashing a haphazard smile. “just peachy. you know what, jaehyo, make that two, would you?”

the bartender purses his lips, but obeys. “it’s probably not my place, but i’d advise that you don’t drink too much,” he says after a moment, adding, “especially when you’re obviously you,” as an afterthought.

it’s kindly meant, jiho knows. he’s right, of course, but in jiho’s current state, the words fall on deaf ears. he doesn’t need someone else telling him what to do. “i’ll keep that in mind,” he says tersely.

the idea is awful, really. all jiho wants is to get drunk and listen to karaoke. but he’s still wearing the clothes he’d worn to meet with the company. he definitely stands out, dressed so richly in a grungy place like this. he’s already here, though, and he doesn’t have the willpower or energy to go home, change, and come back.

so he gives in, drowning everything in bad alcohol and great singers singing even worse songs.

the dark-haired boy shows up a little past 11:00, and jiho is hit by a strong surge of pure want. perhaps it’s the alcohol doing the thinking, but he can’t help staring at the boy’s plush mouth; the way his shirt fits snugly over his wide shoulders and chest, tattoos poking out under the ends of his sleeves; how well-built he looks, despite his short height; the way his hair falls messily across his forehead, and god jiho wants to make it even messier.

the next few hours are something of a blur. jiho listens to the boy sing, mesmerised and with a growing hard on. the singer comes over and chats with jaehyo for a short while, and jiho thinks maybe he stares a little too intently, the male’s laugh tinkling like ringing bells in his ears.

jiho winds up dry-heaving outside the bar sometime after 1:00. he’s lucky it’s late - he can only imagine what sort of headlines the spectacle would have produced if he’d been caught here at an earlier time. surely something career damaging.

at this point, he’s not sure if he’d have minded so much, though. maybe it’d have done well to change up his pace and get some bad publicity for once. show everybody he’s not the perfect, invincible superstar they all want to believe he is.

when he’s still not able to vomit anything, jiho tries to get his breath back, leaning against the wall and looking up at the dark, cloudy sky.

he’s never felt this alone before. it’s new, and a sad, masochistic part of him almost wishes he hadn’t forced kyung away. he still has the older boy’s number. he could always text him, apologize, ask him to come back.

that idea is what really does it, and he finally feels the satisfaction of bile and a good bit of the soju he’d drunk sting his throat as he doubles over to vomit on the pavement.

he’s way too drunk to think about this right now. and way too drunk to drive himself home. wow, where had he even parked his car? well, this is perfect.

he can see the headline now: “world famous songwriter woo jiho found passed out outside local karaoke bar. suspected of bad drinking habits?”

perfect, just perfect.

****  
  


 

he actually does make it to his car before losing consciousness. spending the night in the parking lot of the karaoke bar is probably the worst thing to happen yet - jiho wakes up with a throbbing headache and an incurable kink in his neck as he hears faint knocking on the window of the vehicle.

his first thought is that reporters have discovered his whereabouts and he’s about to have a shitload of explaining to do; to his relief, though, the sound had come from jaehyo’s fist, and he groggily rolls the window down, blinking blearily at the bartender.

“i can’t believe you actually slept in there,” jaehyo says, expression a cross between amusement and bewilderment. “it’s 10:00 in the morning, woo jiho. and we charge a fee if cars are in the parking lot for more than twelve hours.” jiho grunts in response, groping for his wallet in his jacket pocket and procuring a few crumpled bills to hand the bartender. “is everything okay? if you needed a ride last night, i could have called you a taxi.”

“it’s fine,” jiho grumbles, massaging his temples with both hands. “listen, you don’t happen to have any painkillers, do you?”

“afraid not,” jaehyo shakes his head. “didn’t i tell you not to drink so much?” jiho gives him a grim smile. “well, there’s no helping it i suppose. but you should go home and get some rest in an actual bed, if you want to feel any better today.”

for once, jiho listens, nodding sluggishly to keep his head from throbbing too painfully. “thanks, hyo,” he manages. “sorry about all this.”

“what are you apologizing for?” jaehyo gives him a confused look. “ahh, seriously, just get out of here and go take care of yourself or else i’ll really start worrying.” jiho salutes and rolls the car window up, watching as the bartender returns to the building.

jaehyo’s a nice guy. jiho thinks they could probably be friends if he wanted, if he could find the motivation to get off his ass and stop feeling sorry for himself. but then there’s that good-for-nothing part of him that says no, the only reason jaehyo has any interest in jiho is because he’s not an active part of jiho’s life, that jaehyo prefers this kind of relationship with no strings attached.

there’s no way he’d really want to be friends with jiho. nobody wants to be friends with jiho. it’s just the odd way that stardom works, that the only way people want to see him is as a muse, that they imagine him to be this cool, mysterious force; an untouchable celebrity.

in reality, he’s a wreck. he’s woo jiho, the emotionally unstable music nerd who can’t seem to hold onto a relationship, and spends every living second thinking about all the reasons he doesn’t deserve anything in life.

how did he even come this far? that he’s drinking himself sick and spending nights in the parking lots of dingy karaoke bars? he honestly has no idea.

after a long moment, he finally attempts to locate his car key. it’s lodged in the crease of the seat underneath him, and it takes him a good few minutes to get it out and start his car. by now, his head has begun a dull, constant ache, and all he can think about it how much he wants to get home, take some painkillers, and sleep for the rest of the day.

his plan is put on hold, though, when he finds the mess of coffee mug shards scattered across his kitchen, as well as the coffee stain. cleaning up is a lot harder than he’d expected, and leaves him feeling extremely dysphoric.

he spends the entire next week cooped up inside watching pretty much every movie he owns. which isn’t a lot, but it works to distract him for the most part, and that’s really what he’s trying to do.

his company calls three times, and three times he refuses to answer, afraid that they’ll just have another job for him, another song for another group that he’s supposed to prepare by the following weekend. the third time, the ceo leaves a message thanking jiho for the recently completed song and congratulating him on the popularity of the one that had been released the previous week, as well as expressing hopes that jiho is doing alright. he mentions nothing about asking jiho to work on anything, and jiho feels guilty for ignoring the calls.

it’s this idea that pervades his mind, that nobody cares and that he’s alone, and he needs to stop toying with it because it’s really the reason that he has no friends to begin with. it’s his own fault, but he can’t stop. thoughts like that always nag at him even when he tries not to think about it.  
that weekend, he puts on minimal disguise - a pair of sunglasses, snapback, and some of the non-designer clothes he’d gotten just for these occasions - and heads out to the karaoke bar. he feels comfortable dressed casually like this, likes not drawing attention to himself.

it’s amazing how much the clothes affect his appearance, actually. he has yet to be recognized in this getup, and he intends on keeping a perfect track record.

the bar is particularly quiet compared to the previous week. jiho arrives a little after 9:00 and seats himself in his usual spot, waiting as jaehyo serves another regular on the other side of the bar before coming over to him.

“how are you feeling?” jaehyo asks, leaning against the counter. “better than last weekend?”

jiho hesitates. does he feel better? he hadn’t really thought about it. “i guess?” he mutters. “the usual for me. oh, and make it two.”

“again?” jaehyo cocks a brow, straightening. “you’re not planning on getting wasted again, are you? i covered for you last week, but i can’t do it a second time. my manager was on my ass about your car being here all night. you’re lucky i got him to let me take care of it, otherwise he’d have found out it was you and you’d have been all over the news.” jiho grins sheepishly at him.

“i won’t,” he says. jaehyo gives him a look. “i’m serious! you have my word as a professional.”

“is that supposed to count for something?” jaehyo snorts, but he starts preparing the drinks anyway. “if you get so much as tipsy, i’m fining you a thousand dollars.” jiho just laughs and nods, accepting the first glass from him.

yeah, jaehyo is nice. maybe one of these days jiho will work up the courage to ask for his number. jaehyo’s the kind of guy he’d enjoy texting, even if they didn’t end up very close.

the dark-haired boy shows up later than usual, only sings a few songs, and spends the rest of the time at the bar just two seats down from jiho. he’s dressed in a tight tank that makes jiho’s face feel hot, and jiho can’t help following the ink designs on his arms, thankful for the protection his sunglasses afford. he’s also grateful for the dim lighting in the bar because he’s pretty sure his cheeks are red and whether or not it’s because of the alcohol in his system is up for discussion.

he’s not sure when or why jaehyo allows it, but he orders two more drinks and downs them without much thought. the rest of the night’s singers aren’t nearly up to par, and jiho almost complains so, but he thinks better of it and settles for brooding in his seat, keeping his gaze trained on the male two seats away.

it’s the seventh drink that starts making jiho woozy. maybe jaehyo’s too busy helping other patrons and that’s why he’s so quick to just slide jiho the glass, but after only a few sips, he begins to think maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. he’d promised jaehyo he wouldn’t drink too much. maybe it’s time for him to get going.

he fumbles around through his pocket, certain his wallet is evading him until he manages to grab the damn thing and, with difficulty, yank it out. after trying to calculate his total at least three times, he finally gets out the right amount of money and calls out to jaehyo, who comes over to take it from him. it’s at this time that jaehyo belatedly realizes how many drinks he’d made for the songwriter.

“hey, woo jiho, i told you-” he starts, grip tightening on the bills in his hand.

jiho waves a hand dismissively and giggles, “yeah, i know, i know, not to get wasted. don’t worry, i’m fine!” he tries to prove it by standing up, but that backfires when he nearly trips over the leg of his chair followed by his own feet.

“idiot,” jaehyo purses his lips, “you seriously don’t know your own limits, do you. hang on, give me your car keys, i’m calling you a taxi.”

“no need,” jiho shakes his head, raising a hand as if to signal for the bartender to be quiet. “i told you, i’m fine. i can drive.”

“don’t be ridiculous,” jaehyo pockets the cash jiho’d gave him and holds his hand out demandingly. “keys, jiho. i’m not letting you drive yourself home.”

“nope,” the songwriter shakes his head again, suppressing a grin. “bye bye, hyo.”

walking out is easy enough, when he ignores the protests the bartender calls after him. keeping his balance, on the other hand, is another thing entirely, but that becomes the last of his worries when the motion of walking induces a strong wave of nausea and he’s forced to brace himself against the wall once he’s outside.

he gags a few times, doubled over, but to no avail. he feels like he needs to throw up his entire stomach, or at least one of his other major organs, the sensation so overwhelming that he can’t move even an inch.

this is it. this is the end of woo jiho. he’s going to die here outside the karaoke bar and his body will be found and there will be so many questions without answers. what a lackluster way to go. “world famous songwriter woo jiho found dead against wall of local karaoke bar, leaves behind legacy of hit songs. the whole world is in mourning.” tragic.

he’s getting ready to resign himself to his fate, another wave of nausea hitting, when he feels an arm around his shoulders, strong grip helping keep him steady.

“hang in there,” says a voice that makes jiho’s insides feel like jelly. “are you okay?”

he only has to briefly glance up to see who the voice belongs to before he’s readily regretting his entire life. great, just great. now his drunk-as-fuck mind is making him see that singer from the bar. he really needs to hurry up and pass out.

“whoa,” the singer says, recognition and surprise lighting his face, “you’re woo jiho.”

jiho laughs at that. well, there goes his perfect track record. oh yeah, he’d really love to pass out right now in the well built, tattooed arms of his prince charming. he truly is lovely up close like this. has jiho brought up how incredible his lips are? because he’s staring a little hard right about now, and it seems a good time to mention.

“jaehyo didn’t tell me…” the singer hesitates. jaehyo? what does jaehyo have to do with it? “... anyway, can you walk? do you have a ride?”

jiho chooses to ignore both questions and instead asks, “are you real?” an uncharacteristic giggle escapes him as he clings rather tightly to the short male.

“what?” the male asks, clearly confused. he sags, caught off guard by jiho’s behavior and the sudden extra weight as jiho leans against him. “you’re obviously drunk. can i give you a ride home?”

“no!” jiho shakes his head vehemently, holding up one finger. the singer blinks at him. “i don’t want to go home. it’s empty and lonely and i don’t want to go there.” he regains a little strength in his legs and takes the opportunity to shift and bury his face in the crook of the shorter male’s neck, causing him to stiffen in alarm. “take me home with you instead.”

“wh-what??” the other male gets out, attempting and failing to push jiho away. “no way. jaehyo said to make sure you made it to your house.” oh, so he’s acting as jaehyo’s lapdog, then? that’s no fun. “tell me your address.”

“nope,” jiho hums, nuzzling the male’s skin and closing his eyes. “i want to go home with you.”   
“i can’t-” the singer grunts as jiho latches onto him, long arms easily pulling him closer. “you’ve got to be kidding me! you’re woo jiho, i can’t just-”

but jiho has stopped listening, focusing instead on the short male’s scent and the fact that he can feel the male’s muscular torso through his tank. he feels marvelous. jiho thinks he’s in love.

after a moment longer, he feels the singer’s shoulders slouch in defeat, and he grumbles inaudibly as he struggles to lead jiho away from the karaoke building.

the last thing jiho registers is being helped into the passenger seat of a car, vaguely aware of requesting the presence of fingers laced with his own.

****  
  


 

when jiho wakes up in the morning, he’s met by a warmth he hasn’t felt in longer than he’d care to admit. anxiety quickly sets in; it’s not kyung is it? god, jiho must have been so wasted last night. he wouldn’t put it past himself to fuck up that badly.

the position doesn’t fit kyung, though. arms are wrapped around him in somewhat of an intimate gesture, and he has his face pressed against a chest, breathing in an unfamiliar but strangely pleasant scent. there’s no way kyung would have gotten this close.

slowly opening his eyes, jiho draws back slightly, breath catching in his throat.

oh.

oh god.

it’s the singer from the karaoke bar.

and he’s shirtless.

either this is a dream or jiho did something really stupid while he was drunk last night, and he’s definitely leaning toward the latter.

full blown panic threatens him as the singer stirs, eyes fluttering open. he hardly seems phased by jiho’s presence, just stretches, stifles a yawn, and retracts his arms to prop his head up with his elbow braced on his pillow, chin resting on his palm. jiho feels his whole face heat up as he completely freezes in place.

how on earth did he end up in this situation?

“how’s your head?” the singer asks just when jiho thinks the silence is getting to be too much to handle.

he stares for a moment, evaluating how he feels. honestly, it’s highly likely that he got at least a little too drunk last night. he’s surprised it’s not worse. “f-fine,” he squeaks. he’s amazed he even remembers how to speak, and the other male quirks a brow at him.

“are you sure?” the singer lifts his other hand, reaching out to brush jiho’s forehead with his fingers. the action causes jiho to flinch back, and this in turn makes his head throb quite painfully, earning a low groan from the songwriter. the singer laughs. “i thought so. we should take care of that as soon as possible, shouldn’t we.”

he gets up, stretching again, the movement accentuating his built torso. jiho sits up and watches with eagerness, noting the number of tattoos lining his arms, chest, and back. he’s beautiful, jiho finds himself thinking. it’s something of a dangerous thought to have, what with the way the singer turns to give him an appraising look, brow going up once more. jiho’s sure his face must be bright red by now.

“you.. that is…” he tries to articulate, words failing him as he meets the male’s gaze.

“i’m taeil,” the singer offers, a small smile tugging at his lips as he pulls a shirt over his head. “i sing at the karaoke bar you were at last night. you were really shitfaced and clearly incapable of driving yourself anywhere so jaehyo wanted me to take you home, but you wouldn’t tell me your address. so, i had no choice but to bring you back to my place.”

if he thinks hard enough, jiho can almost remember the early morning events, the way he’d forced himself onto the singer without regard for the inconvenience it must have caused him.

“i-i’m sorry,” jiho bows his head. “i must have been a nuisance.”

“not really,” taeil says, folding his arms across his chest. “i was just surprised to see the woo jiho in such a compromising position.” if possible, jiho’s face gets even redder.

of course the singer would know who he is. anyone with any basic knowledge of music knows jiho’s name. it’s embarrassing, though, especially when jiho remembers how often he’d stared at the singer earlier in the night.

“you’re a talkative drunk,” the singer muses when jiho stays quiet. “and emotional, too. you kept saying something about not wanting to be alone, and you kept trying to sit in my lap. a few times, you even asked me to have sex with you.” jiho’s eyes widen significantly.

“i-i did what??” he exclaims, resisting the urge to hit himself hard in the face. now he’s done it. way to go woo jiho. they can add sexual harassment to that article about his drinking behavior. as well as his death certificate.

“you tried to kiss me a lot, too,” taeil adds, greatly amused by jiho’s evident embarrassment. “from the look on your face, i take it you’re not usually like that.”

it takes jiho a moment to regain his composure, and he hurries to bow his head, a string of every swear word he knows in every language he can speak running through his mind as he remembers belatedly that he’s hungover. “i’m so, so sorry, fuck, i didn’t-” he cringes as taeil laughs. it really is a pretty sound. “please forget everything i said and did. god, i’m so sorry, i-”

“whoa there, slow down, mr. famous songwriter. i didn’t say i didn’t like any of it,” the singer chuckles. jiho half-gapes at him, color spreading to even the tips of his ears. “it was endearing. you’re lucky i’m a relatively normal guy, or i’d have really taken advantage of you.”

jiho really wants to hide behind something, anything, or at least disappear for a few minutes to let the blush on his cheeks dissipate.

it only makes matters worse that he finds himself wishing taeil had taken advantage of him.

“come on,” taeil beckons, grin still tugging at his face, “we should get something for that hangover of yours.”

jiho realizes just how bad the hangover really is when he tries to stand up.

****  
  


 

taeil is quite the gentleman. he makes jiho breakfast, gives him some painkillers to help the throbbing headache he has, and chats easily while jiho eats.

“how does someone such as yourself end up in a karaoke bar like that on the weekend, anyway?” the singer asks curiously. “don’t you have important things to do? important people to see?”

“i suppose,” jiho mumbles after swallowing a bite of omelet and toast. “actually, i…” he hesitates. is it safe to admit that he’s been coming to hear taeil sing for a long while now?

“you don’t have to say if you’re not comfortable, i just thought i’d ask,” taeil says when he doesn’t speak.

“it’s-it’s not that,” jiho glances up at him before directing his gaze to his food. “it’s- i mean, you have such a great voice. you’re always there on the weekends, so i-”

“ah,” taeil cuts in, eyes lighting up, “are you admitting you come to listen to me sing?” jiho trails off, nodding once, blush painting his cheeks again. “incredible. my vocals can even attract award-winning songwriters to rundown karaoke bars. i should add that to my resume.” despite himself, jiho can’t help letting out a laugh, the noise drawing the singer’s attention. “aha! so you can laugh.” when jiho blinks at him, confused, he explains, “you giggled once or twice when i first found you last night, but after that you were actually pretty weepy. i was a little worried, honestly.”

jiho finds it strange, how easy it is for this man to interact with him. he’s used to people being tongue-tied in his presence. woo jiho is a top celebrity among even the most famous stars, and most people can’t even look him in the eye for more than a few seconds. but here taeil is, treating jiho like a normal person. talking to him as if he’s known jiho for forever. worrying about him. and it’s only the first day they’ve been acquainted, even after the nonsense jiho must have put him through.

jiho can hardly begin to comprehend the warm feeling in his chest.

“if you don’t mind my asking, how long have you been singing?” he questions after eating a little more.

“since my first year of high school,” taeil answers, adding up on his fingers, “so it’s been… ten years i think? give or take.” jiho’s brow furrows.

“wait, ten years since high school…?” he repeats. “how old are you?”

taeil grins, chuckling. “older than you.”

“there’s no way you’re older than me,” jiho shakes his head.

“i’m 24,” taeil raises a brow at him. jiho’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “if the birthdate on your official website is anything to go by, then i’m two years older than you, mr. songwriter.”

jiho blinks at the singer in disbelief. “you’re really 24?” taeil nods, still grinning. “you’re shitting me. i wouldn’t have put you past 20.”

“i’m flattered,” the older boy laughs, “but you’re one to talk. you yourself hardly look 22.” jiho’s cheeks flush at that.

after they finish eating and taeil cleans up, he disappears for a few minutes to change into more suitable clothes. upon returning, he asks, “do you want to go back to the bar now? it’d probably be best to get your car soon, since the fee grows exponentially after the first twelve hours it’s there.”

jiho’s expression turns sour. he’d almost forgotten about that. well, there goes the rest of the cash he has on him. taeil’s house is comfortable, but the singer is right; he shouldn’t wait around for much longer. “let’s go,” jiho nods.

like the creepy asshole he is, he forces himself to memorise taeil’s address when they leave, taking the opportunity to jot it down in a note on his phone once he’s seated in the passenger seat of taeil’s car. it’s wrong, he knows, but a part of him wants the liberty to come back here. like somehow just having the address will gain him access to the older boy’s life.

if only it worked that way.

jaehyo is pissed when they get to the bar. he thanks taeil for taking care of jiho and scolds the songwriter profusely for being so irresponsible, and despite feeling so bad, jiho kind of likes it. jaehyo was really worried about him. that’s why he’s mad. it feels nice, actually, to have people worry about him.

“promise you won’t do it again, please,” the bartender sighs, running a hand through his hair. “i swear, you’re costing years of my life. do me a favor and stay out of trouble for once, will you?”

“yes sir,” jiho salutes. out of the corner of his eyes, he notes the amused look on taeil’s face, the expression setting off butterflies in his stomach.

after some deliberation, jaehyo settles on getting jiho’s number. it’s a casual gesture - “i just want a concrete way to check up on you, like after you get wasted, that’s all,” the bartender had sniffed indignantly upon accusations of his brotherly side showing through - but it makes jiho happy nonetheless. he finally has someone else to text.

not to mention the exchange also gains him taeil’s number, which he has to mentally and physically force himself not to abuse.

if this is what progress feels like, he definitely thinks he can get used to it.

****  
  


 

in spite of his desire to text taeil, jiho can’t work up the courage. jaehyo, he texts easily and probably with too few filters (this is something he’s been anticipating for a while, the older boy can hardly blame him), but taeil… taeil is still an enigma, possibly too good to be true and also more intimidating than someone in jiho’s position would ever care to admit.

it’s taeil that texts first to confirm numbers - a, “mr. songwriter?” followed by a smiling emoji and it’s almost too cute for jiho to handle, at least enough to send a response; “have you added me to your resume yet?” - and it’s also taeil who sends the first real message.

it comes on thursday, and jiho is too nervous to look at it for a whole five minutes before he can finally manage. the content is a simple question: “can i expect you at the bar this saturday?”

and it’s unnecessary, really, because jiho can’t even count the number of weekends he’s spent there, sole purpose to hear taeil’s voice, but it still means something. that taeil wants him to be there. or at least is anticipating it? and jiho’s not quite sure what that means, but yes, it definitely means something, and he’s willing to take what he can get.

a few times during the week, he tries to inconspicuously get information out of jaehyo. he learns the two have been friends since high school, and that taeil had been an extremely talented singer even back then, the skill only improving as time went on. he learns that jaehyo had encouraged taeil to pursue a career in the music industry, but they never found the right lead to make it happen. he also learns that taeil had casually dated a few guys in college; and well, jiho can’t help feeling more than a little hopeful with this knowledge in the picture.

to his relief, jaehyo doesn’t seem to catch on as to why jiho is asking, so he feels relatively safe for now.

he finds his attraction to the singer growing exponentially, though, something that is quickly proven to him when they meet again on saturday.

when taeil sings his first song, jiho finds himself exceedingly glad he’s sitting down; he’s about ninety percent certain his knees would have given out under him if he’d been standing. the older boy sings only a few songs, but by the time he comes over to join jaehyo and jiho at the bar, jiho thinks he’s lucky to have survived even that many.

“you sounded incredible tonight,” he breathes out as taeil sits next to him.

“thanks,” the singer flashes a grin, sparking blush across jiho’s cheeks. “i picked those songs specifically to impress you.” the younger male stares openly at him, the statement surprising him into silence as taeil orders a drink.

“always showing off whenever you get the chance,” jaehyo gives him a look. “you didn’t care about picking impressive songs before, so why start now?”

“no reason,” taeil hums, glancing at jiho as his fingers close around the drink. jiho’s instinct is to swallow hard. there’s definitely a reason, alright, and he’s beginning to wonder if it was a very good idea to tell taeil the explanation for why he comes to this particular bar.

it’s nice, jiho notes, the three of them chatting. when jaehyo isn’t serving other patrons, he’s leaning on the counter in front of the two musicians, listening to their conversation and adding input here and there. for the first time in forever, jiho feels a real sense of solidarity, like his presence is actually desired.

kyung occupies his mind for a fleeting moment; only this time, it’s not with bitterness or regret. it’s just a comparison, a realization that yes, jiho deserves this. that he wants people in his life who actually care about him, not familiar ghostlike faces simply because he’s too goddamn scared of potential change.

“so what do you do outside of karaoke?” he asks taeil curiously.

“you’re asking him that?” jaehyo turns to jiho, pouting. “and here i was thinking i was the go-to-guy for taeil information. way to bleed me dry, jiho.” blush instantly spreads across the songwriter’s face as taeil shoots a look of mixed puzzlement and amusement between the two of them, and jiho quickly gives jaehyo a look that begs him to keep his mouth shut.

“go-to-guy?” one of taeil’s brows goes up. jiho stares at jaehyo as hard as he can muster, but it appears to do nothing as the bartender ignores him and meets the singer’s gaze.

“yeah. mr. famous here has been asking me questions about you all week long. i can’t tell if it’s cute or annoying. or both,” the bartender says. his expression is mostly blank except for the ever so slight upturning of one corner of his mouth, and oh, jiho could not have been more wrong about his safety.

“oh?” taeil’s brow goes up even higher, his gaze shifting to the younger boy, who shrinks back in his seat, resisting the urge to hide underneath something. he opens his mouth, no sound escaping, and taeil chuckles as he closes it again. “you know,” the singer beams, “if it’s information you want, you can feel free to ask me anything. i like talking about myself.”

“and you call me narcissistic,” jaehyo grumbles, rolling his eyes and earning another chuckle from taeil.

“are you sure that’s okay?” jiho finally manages to get out, squirming a little as taeil chuckles yet again. it’s bad, but he particularly likes the sound, and maybe he doesn’t mind being embarrassed so much if it means he can hear it this often.

“of course!” taeil nods. “basically anything is open territory. ask me whatever you want and chances are i’ll tell you without a second thought.” he pauses. “now what was your question just now…? oh right, what do i do. well, i’m a delivery guy,” the singer says, laughing at the shocked expression jiho makes. “what? you weren’t expecting something out of the ordinary, were you?”

jiho recalls jaehyo’s words, that taeil had tried for stardom and fallen short, and feels guilty for not reacting more calmly. “i didn’t mean-” he starts, but taeil shakes his head, laughing again. jiho should probably stop letting that laugh get to him this easily.

“i guess i could probably get a better job if i tried. i’m just lazy, so i haven’t looked,” he grins. “money is money, so as long as i have a paycheck, it doesn’t really matter to me.” jiho wonders if he really believes that.

“i can definitely relate,” jaehyo sighs, eyes sweeping around the bar. “i never thought i’d end up bartending, honestly. but at least with a face like mine, the tips are enough to keep me going.”

taeil snorts. “yeah, that’s for sure. with your skill, if you didn’t have a pretty face, you wouldn’t make any money at all.” the bartender gives him a put-out look.

“don’t say that. i’ve gotten a lot better at making drinks over the last few months,” he grumbles, and both taeil and jiho exchange stifled laughter.

the three of them actually spend quite a few weekends this way, chatting and bonding and jiho always leaves in a good mood, going over the conversations on his way home and smiling as he remembers key parts like the humorous way taeil spoke, or jaehyo’s jesting complaints about the other bar patrons.

and jiho learns more about taeil. about his obsession with ink and the reason - or lack thereof- for why he’d gotten each tattoo. about his interest in sea creatures, particularly tropical fish, and the existence of a small aquarium in one of the rooms jiho hadn’t seen when he’d been in the singer’s house. how he’d behaved in high school and college (mostly courtesy of jaehyo - the singer sits through these stories with an embarrassed little grin on his face, shaking his head and laughing lightly, and jiho finds it quite cute). that he likes hearing jiho talk, always encourages jiho to speak up when the younger male has stayed quiet for a while.

he picks up on the singer’s mannerisms, like the way he usually sits, the way his brows go up when he finds something amusing, his hand gestures when he talks, the way his laugh infects his whole face, and the way he watches jiho when he’s talking with the slightest smile that shows he’s truly interested in what jiho is saying.

and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but jiho can’t help thinking that taeil might reciprocate. it’s in the smiles he gives jiho, his expression when he thinks jiho isn’t looking, the way he teases jiho, clearly enjoying the color that almost always paints the songwriter’s face.

he finds himself wondering what the extent of taeil’s interest really is.

****  
  


 

an opportunity finally presents itself to jiho.

a normal friday. jiho avoiding his phone because he’d gotten a call from the company requesting he come work with the girl group when they record the song he’d written, something about improving the quality of the recording. of course, this information had been relayed via voicemail because jiho has long since stopped answering calls, something he feels guilty about but also can’t stop doing.

when he hears his text message alert sound go off, he all but catapults himself up from where he’d been moping on his couch, tripping in the process before managing to snatch his phone off the table.

“want to come over?” is all it reads. jiho reads it four times, letting the words etch themselves into his eyelids before he can even think to respond. a fifth time and he’s trying to figure how to word his response in a way that won’t sound too eager, too enthusiastic at the idea of an actual invitation into the singer’s personal space.

he almost forgets that he’s not supposed to have taeil’s address already and forces the numbers and letters out of his head just in time as he types: “sure. what’s the address?”

the reply he gets isn’t at all what he expects. “what? didn’t you get it down before? or did you already lose it?”

color abruptly floods jiho’s face. taeil had seen when he’d written it down??? and he’s teasing jiho about it?? the idea that the singer had simply watched quietly as jiho surreptitiously eyed the address and turned his phone away from the older boy while he typed it in, perhaps even smiling a little, has him ashamed, but also the slightest bit hopeful.

he needs to work on his stealth, honestly.

before he can think to type a response, though, he’s getting another message from taeil. it includes the address, followed by a short, “in case you made any typos. text me when you get here, okay?” and a winking emoji.

even a few minutes of deep breathing isn’t enough to rid jiho of his perpetual embarrassment.

taeil’s house is a little more than a twenty minute drive from jiho’s place, and the sight of the familiar building is both intimidating and invigorating. it’s certainly better to be here when he’s sober.

he tries to take in more of the area, evaluating the neighborhood, observing how the outside of the place looks. it’s pleasant; certainly smaller than jiho’s own home - which is still on the small side for a big celebrity like him - but still nice and cozy, and the surroundings are tidy and well-kept. it’s all around very agreeable, and jiho thinks taeil must like it here.

his jaw drops noticeably when, moments after he informs taeil of his arrival, the older boy opens the door to let jiho inside wearing nothing but a tank and sports shorts, the cord of a pair of earbuds draped loosely around his neck. the tip of the tattoo on taeil’s chest pokes out above the top of the tank, and jiho stares a little too obviously, only remembering himself after taeil suppresses a laugh.

“you work out?” jiho asks, abashed that his voice comes out breathless. it’s a stupid question, really, considering the number of times jiho has seen the other male’s muscles and toned body.

“yeah,” taeil gives him a look that makes it difficult to follow when the older male beckons him inside, closing the door behind him. “what, jaehyo didn’t tell you?” jiho’s face flushes as he shakes his head. “i use my basement as a workout room.”

the mental image that gives jiho is enough to make him almost forget that he has to move his legs to walk in order to follow behind taeil as he leads to the kitchen where he grabs a water bottle from the fridge. he takes a long sip from it, grinning when he catches jiho watching him intently.

“s-so,” jiho clears his throat, averting his gaze to glance around the room, “you’ve got a workout room… and i remember you saying you had a room for fish, too..?”

taeil’s eyes light up. “you remember that?” downing a few more gulps of water, he puts the water bottle back in the fridge and goes on, “do you wanna see? i can get changed and give you a tour of my house, wait just a minute!” without leaving jiho much of a choice, he disappears from the kitchen. the younger boy stands by the doorway for a moment before sheepishly scratching the back of his head, taking a deep breath, and moving further into the kitchen to wait.

after a short while, taeil returns, wearing a pair of tight jeans and a baggy t-shirt. even in casual clothes like this, he still looks stunning, and jiho has to physically force himself not to stare. taeil seems to notice anyway, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

taeil has fun showing jiho around the house. he comes up with some sort of commentary for each room, simultaneously telling jiho more about himself while also getting the younger boy to loosen up. jiho likes it a lot, listening to taeil talk, seeing a little more into his life. with taeil being so open like this, he can’t help being hopeful, feeling at home even though this is only his second time being here.

the fish are in the room furthest from the front. he has a few tanks lining the walls, an assortment of fish in each one. there are too many types and names for jiho to swallow, so he nods a bit dumbly as the singer introduces each tank. he feels bad, hoping not to seem uninterested, but taeil doesn’t appear to mind, content with simply showing jiho each sea critter.

the last room the older male shows him is the bedroom. after taking only a step inside, jiho halts completely, gaping at the wall across from him. against the wall is a desk setup: a microphone, monitor, speakers, and recording equipment.

“so you do sing on your own time,” jiho says, awed as his eyes sweep over the equipment. the microphone is definitely high quality, as is the rest of the setup. it could possibly rival the stuff his company uses,  and jiho can’t help thinking it must have cost a fortune, imagines just how long the singer must have had to save up in order to get it.

“when i have the time,” taeil says fondly, and when jiho looks up, he finds the singer’s eyes on him. “i used to do it more after i graduated college, but i prefer singing for an audience. that’s why i go out for karaoke so often now instead.”

jiho nods once, holding the older male’s gaze. “you deserve to be heard by an audience with a voice like yours. in fact, if it weren’t for your voice, i probably wouldn’t even be here today.”

taeil’s eyes widen at the blunt statement, pink tinging his cheeks. the color catches jiho by surprise. so even taeil can blush, huh. “you flatter me,” the singer mutters, giving him a small smile.

“but it’s the truth,” jiho insists, taking a step closer. “seriously, if i never found that bar and never heard you sing, i can pretty much guarantee that i’d be a broken man right now.” taeil blinks helplessly at him as he takes another step. “you saved me.”

“wh- i-” taeil sputters, and it’s really too cute, this side of him. jiho hasn’t seen him get flustered like this, and it makes him want to grab taeil by the wrist and pull him closer. “you’re too much, woo jiho.”

“am i?” jiho mumbles, blush painting his own cheeks now. “sorry.”

“don’t apologize, idiot,” taeil chuckles softly. “i didn’t say it was a bad thing, did i?”

somehow they end up with jiho pinned against taeil’s work desk, taeil invading his personal space and far too close for comfort, his scent intoxicating and jiho almost forgets how to breathe.

“what do you want, jiho?” taeil asks tenderly.

jiho can think of a million things he wants, but they all have a common denominator. “you,” he says, blushing brightly as taeil laughs. “but don’t make this only about me! what do you want-?”

before he can finish, taeil is pushing up, catching him in an open mouthed kiss. “it’s mutual,” the singer murmurs, smile lighting up his face.

jiho’s hands ball into fists in the fabric of taeil’s t-shirt as he’s kissed senseless.

****  
  


 

jiho never had been a fan of coming into the studio unless it was to work on one of his better songs. back in the day when he’d first started out, it’d been impossible to keep him out; now, when it comes to the newer songs, though, he honestly can’t give a damn how they’re sung or performed. there’s really no way to make them better, so he doesn’t see the point in trying.

but the company still values his opinion on the matter, whatever that’s supposed to mean. it’s just an excuse to get jiho to come in to work for once.

“that was good,” the manager is telling the current member who’s recording - lee yeonju if he remembers correctly - and that’s usually jiho’s cue to jump in, offer advice, help fix the technique to make it better.

“sing it with more power,” he tells her, gesturing vaguely with one hand. “you’re singing through your nose right now, and it’s not getting you to the high notes with anywhere near enough vibrato. those notes don’t need more force, they need adequate support. you’ve got a diaphragm, i’d suggest you make use of it.”

“got it,” the girl responds and bows her head once.

“alright, good,” jiho nods, pleased to have her cooperation. usually the singers he works with aren’t so eager to listen to constructive criticism, even from a renowned songwriter such as himself. ”let’s try it again, this time with more air and less nose.”

the recording this time is much better, her voice clearer and stronger, and jiho feels a twinge of pride to actually be working with someone who understands what he means with his instructions. as she finishes, the manager and other group members burst into applause.

“that was a lot better,” jiho says, grinning. “good job.”

“th-thank you,” the girl mutters, face flushing.

“you should be proud,” comes a new, deep voice that makes jiho startle and turn to face the door. “our woo jiho doesn’t praise just anyone.” there’s a grin on the newcomer’s face, his expression one of amusement.

“ceo,” the manager bows, “when did you arrive? we didn’t hear you come in.”

“oh, i only just arrived,” the tall male hums, eyes falling on jiho. “i wanted to come check on the recording process.”

“we just finished, actually,” the manager says, beckoning for yeonju to come out from the recording booth. “would you like to hear the song so far?”

“if we’re done,” jiho cuts in before the ceo can reply, “then i’ll be leaving.”

“what? you don’t want to hear the results of your effort?” the ceo frowns.

“it’s fine. they only needed me for advice, anyway,” jiho says, shifting uncomfortably under the other male’s gaze. “i have other things to attend to.”

“thank you very much for your help,” yeonju quickly says, giving jiho a ninety degree bow. jiho smiles briefly at her before bowing his head and taking a step toward the door. the ceo doesn’t move out of his way.

“you know, i’d love to hear the song, but can you wait a moment? i’d like to have a word with jiho first,” he says, opening the door and holding it for the songwriter. “walk with me?” jiho purses his lips, but without much of a choice, follows behind.

they walk in silence for a short while, jiho finally breaking it with, “you dyed your hair again, ceo. it’s very… you.”

“oh, jiho, how many times do i have to remind you to call me jihoon?” the other male makes a face. “i’m still younger than you, it feels weird to be called an official title like that.” jiho gives him a look as he reaches up to run a hand through his bright pink hair. “you don’t think the color is too much? i wanted to try something a bit friendlier after having purple for so long, i think that color intimidated people a bit.”

“it suits you,” jiho says, suppressing a slight grin. he’d forgotten how eccentric the ceo is, having actively avoided him for this long. “i like it more than the purple.”

“good,” jihoon says, breaking into a smile. “i feel better about it if you like it, jiho.” he pauses, glancing over at the songwriter before continuing, “how are you doing these days?”

“fine, i guess,” jiho shrugs. “why do you ask?”

“what, i’m not allowed to check up on a friend?” the pink-haired male laughs. jiho’s eyes widen. “you haven’t been answering my calls. i was worried maybe something happened.”

friend. it feels odd to hear that word here in the workplace. but jiho can’t deny that it feels nice. to, again, have concern focused on him, even if it has the potential to be shallow. guilt also tugs at him once more for being so bad at handling his own occupation and being so damn good at avoiding everything.

“i’ve just been busy,” he tells jihoon. it’s not exactly a lie; he’s spent a good portion of his week attempting to work on a new song, and he’s been to taeil’s house more times than he can count on his fingers, but he wouldn’t care to admit it. “don’t worry. i’ll make an effort to answer from now on, okay?”

“good to hear,” jihoon’s smile grows. “i really appreciate you coming down here to work with delight when you’re so busy. there’s no one whose feedback means more in the studio than your own, and i’d love for them to have a successful debut.”

“i’m sure they will,” jiho assures him. “they seem like a bunch of talented and passionate girls. i’m happy to work with them.” now this bit is true; it’s definitely easier to work in the studio with a group who actually are interested in music, and jiho has a soft spot for that kind of drive. its the same reason he feels at home at the karaoke bar, and why he’d been drawn to taeil.

jihoon walks jiho to the parking structure, telling him to, “take care,” before returning to the building, and for the first time in a while, jiho feels decent about coming to the studio. he feels vaguely inspired. like if he tried, he could sit down and finish the song he’s been working on. well, that and he decides he wants to have a chat with taeil soon. he has something important he wants to discuss with the singer.

****  
  


 

it takes some deliberation, but jiho decides to wait until he’s finished with the song. he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. he doesn’t want to spring this on taeil when he’s not even sure if anything will come of it, and he especially doesn’t want to prove to himself that he’ll never be able to get back the old feeling he used to have in his music.

call it a lack of faith in himself. it’’s something else he misses, apart from his inadequate  motivation: the confidence that powered all of his old songs. he’s never felt so uncertain while writing before; scared that he won’t capture the right feeling; that he won’t portray the right meaning; that it’ll all sound corny and boring and not worthy to reach the public’s ear.

he needs this to be perfect, though. if it’s going to be for taeil, it needs to be the best song jiho has ever written, and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to get it.

taeil almost notices, too. it’s the first time he comes over to jiho’s house, the first time jiho’s agreed to let him into his personal space when they’ve already spent so much time at taeil’s own home.

“what’s this?” he asks, picking up the messy array of papers off jiho’s coffee table and glancing them over with interest. “a new song?”

heart skipping a beat, jiho frantically tries to come up with an explanation. “it’s just some ideas, nothing important,” he says, hoping to sound nonchalant. taeil just shrugs, shuffling the paper into a more orderly pile and replacing them where he’d found them. “come on, i’ll show you around,” he hastily moves over to link arms with the older boy, leading him away from the living room.

the tour of jiho’s house is brief, ending in the bedroom where taeil stares in awe at the songwriter’s decor. “you know,” taeil fights a grin, “i pegged you to be kind of slob when it came to housekeeping, but it seems i was wrong. you just might have a knack for interior design.”

jiho sniffs indignantly at that. “me? a slob? i may be lazy, but i can’t focus if there’s a mess around me, honestly.” taeil turns to him, still grinning.

“you really are a perfectionist, aren’t you. that’s why all of your songs are so captivating,” the singer says affectionately. jiho’s cheeks turn pink. “it’s okay to loosen up, though. you don’t have to be perfect, jiho. i like you when you’re... you. i like when you’re flustered and when you try to act casual to hide your embarrassment.” the color in the younger boy’s face brightens. “and i particularly like when you blush.”

“cut it out,” jiho grumbles, frowning. “... am i really like that?”

“yes,” taeil beams. “but like i just said, it’s not a bad thing. it shows that you’re human.” his words ring in jiho’s ears as the singer moves over to get a better look at the songwriter’s bed.

human. taeil sees him as a human being and accepts his flaws. he doesn’t have outrageous expectations, doesn’t view him the way society has grown to see him - as a puppet, a doll that must fulfill a purpose and never show emotion or have feeling.

taeil always seems to know just what to say.

and jiho is overwhelmed by adoration for the older male, so much so that he can’t fight the urge to cross the room and throw his arms around taeil from behind, leaning forward slightly to rest his chin on the shorter male’s shoulder.

“ah- what is it?” taeil asks, surprised by the sudden action, his eyes widening a bit.

jiho stays quiet for a moment, content to hold onto him like this. “... nothing,” he mutters. “i just like you, that’s all.”

satisfaction bubbles in his chest as he sees red dust taeil’s cheeks out of the corner of his eye. after another moment of quiet, taeil lifts his hands, setting them gently on jiho’s and pressing back against him. “i like you, too,” he says, smiling softly. “i like you a lot, jiho.” jiho’s heart flutters.

he doesn’t protest at all as taeil turns around, cups his face and kisses him. he’s a little reluctant - only a little - as the singer guides him to the bed, making a comment like, “what does a star such as yourself need such a big bed for anyway?” and jiho can’t help feeling embarrassed. the smug expression on the older male’s face tells him he knows exactly what the bed is for, and maybe that’s why he’s so compliant as taeil tugs his t-shirt over his head, kissing him again only deeper than before.

“what do you want?” taeil asks.

jiho thinks he must get a kick out of inquiring about the obvious. “you,” he says, warmth flooding him as taeil lets out a breathy laugh.

despite his embarrassment, there’s also the feeling that he needs this. that he needs new memories, to rid himself of all the toxic times he’d spent in that bed with a certain person. it’s refreshing, to be this intimate with someone who’s actually interested, someone who jiho truly cares about. but not only that, it makes jiho feel happy in a way that’s evaded him for god knows how long, and yes, he really does need this.

taeil is, as always, a gentleman. he’s remarkably considerate, all the while making jiho feel a level of ecstasy he didn’t even know existed. it’s so much better than all of the times with kyung put together that jiho feels guilty for comparing them for even a second.

the experience leaves him even more set on finishing the song, and even more certain of his feelings for the singer.

****  
  


 

jaehyo seems to catch on one night, what with the way taeil has his arm draped around jiho’s back, the way the taller male leans against him just so. he scrutinizes the two of them for a few seconds, eyes narrowed, before asking, “so is it official now? are you guys…?” he makes a vague motion with one hand, wiping the bar counter off with the other, “...you know, a thing?”

jiho involuntarily stiffens. up until now, there’d been no confirmation. sure, they’d expressed mutual feelings. sure, they’d slept together in jiho’s bed. they’d kissed more times than jiho’d ever admit to the bartender, as well as other activities that will definitely stay private.

but to put a title to it, to call it something definite… jiho hadn’t tried to go that far. part of him wants it, but the other part is scared shitless. that maybe taeil doesn’t want that sort of commitment. that maybe he’s mislead himself into thinking this is something more than it is, although jiho knows he’s prone to over-thinking and being too anxious in general.

he looks over at taeil, who avoids his gaze for a short moment. and then he’s looking up, giving a small smile and reaching over to link his fingers with jiho’s. there’s a hint of uncertainty to it that jiho senses almost immediately, and he realizes with a start that taeil must feel the exact same way he does; nervous and unsure of the true nature of their relationship, but most importantly, not wanting to scare the other party away.

“i think so,” taeil says, a bit pink-faced.

he barely gets it out before jiho blurts, “yes. definitely,” and taeil’s eyes widen, jiho’s bluntness clearly catching him off guard.

jaehyo takes one look at the two of them before bursting into laughter. “you guys are so cute, it’s actually a little nauseating,” he says, raising a brow. “can’t say i’m surprised. how long have you had your eye on jiho, taeil? since back when he first debuted writing songs, right?” taeil’s eyes widen even more at that, his face reddening. “wasn’t he your inspiration for wanting to pursue a musical career? who’d have thought you’d end up dating him-”

“that’s enough from you!” taeil exclaims, extending a hand to grab jaehyo’s rag and throw it directly into his face. “don’t you have other customers to serve? ah, just listen to you go on with this nonsense!” jiho stares a bit dumbfoundedly at the older male, who meets his gaze for a split second before letting out a flustered sigh and standing up. “seriously! you’re too much, ahn jaehyo! i need a few songs!”

with that, he stomps away from the bar, pointedly keeping his red face out of jiho’s view. the younger boy just continues to stare after him, finally tearing his gaze away when jaehyo speaks again.

“it’s true, you know,” the bartender says.

“wh-what?” jiho utters, blinking at him.

“you were taeil’s inspiration,” jaehyo grins, gesturing with his head in the direction the singer had disappeared. “after he graduated, he didn’t have a lot of confidence in his voice like he does now. well, there was more behind that, actually. but your songs were what kept him going. it’s thanks to you that he tried so hard to audition for music companies, even when he didn’t make it.”

jiho stays quiet, eyes wandering over to where taeil is picking the songs he wants to sing. “... really?” he mutters. “but i…”

it hardly sounds believable. sure, taeil knows who jiho is - but everyone does. there’s no way the songwriter could have had such a defining role in taeil’s life, not when he’s the one who’s inspired jiho as much as he has.

“it seems like the two of you owe a lot to each other,” jaehyo says, drawing jiho’s gaze back to him. “honestly, i feel like fate brought you two together or something.” scratching the back of his head, the bartender gives jiho a sheepish look. “sorry, that must sound pretty cheesy, huh. i’m just happy for taeil is all. it’s been a long time since i’ve seen him in such high spirits. and the same goes for you, jiho. i really do think the two of you are good for each other.”

jiho’s face is hot as he manages to mutter a, “thanks, hyo,” eyes returning to where taeil is now taking the microphone. he can’t really argue there.

his fingers itch for the sheet music he’d left on the coffee table at home.

when they leave, jiho clings to taeil, nuzzling into his neck and wrapping his arms around the older boy’s torso, ignoring his struggles to break free.

“come on, jiho, it’s late,” the singer mumbles. he’s obviously still embarrassed, and jiho finds it too cute. “i have to get back and feed my fish.”

“boyfriend,” jiho says, voice muffled against taeil’s skin. the shorter male tenses. “you’re my boyfriend.”

it takes a little bit, but taeil bites his lip and slowly lifts his arms, tugging jiho closer. “you really are too much, woo jiho,” he grumbles.

“but you like me,” jiho pulls back, bottom lip slightly jutted out.

“like you?” taeil repeats, mouth forming a straight line. “don’t be ridiculous.” jiho blinks at him, confused. red spreading across his cheeks, taeil seems to swallow his pride as he clarifies, “i love you.”

jaehyo’s obviously not the only cheesy one, jiho finds himself thinking. he also decides that flustered taeil is one of his favorite things. flustered taeil gives excellent kisses.

****  
  


 

when jiho gets stuck, when the last lyrics evade him and the music notes on the sheets in front of him blend together and he wants to grab the entire thing, crumple it in his fist, and set it on fire with the lighter he hasn’t touched in months, he comes to terms with the idea of presenting the song to taeil.

working on it alone is clearly going nowhere. but jiho’s always been this way, almost never looking for a second opinion unless there are no other options, and it’d been like this that he’d written some of his best songs. but even he has to admit when there’s no way he can do this on his own.

and despite himself, he’s the slightest bit excited for taeil to see what he has so far, to find out if the singer would really be willing to sing it for him just like he’s been planning.

after they bid goodbye to jaehyo at the bar, jiho catches taeil’s sleeve as they’re about to part ways. the singer turns to give him a curious look.   
“come back with me,” jiho says, forcing color away from his cheeks.

“but i have to feed my fish-” taeil starts, one brow going up.

“it won’t take long!” jiho hastily cuts in, tightening his grip on the fabric of the older male’s jacket. “you don’t have to stay, i just…” he hesitates. “... there’s... something i want to show you.”

that seems to be all taeil needs to hear before he’s giving in and giving jiho his full attention. “i’ll follow behind you in my car,” he says with a smile, and jiho nods eagerly, relinquishing his grasp on the singer.

jiho expects the night to play out exactly as planned. ideally, they arrive at his house, he lets taeil in and shows him the unfinished work; taeil agrees to sing the song, they plan to meet the next day to work on it, and taeil leaves with a goodnight kiss.  

what he doesn’t expect is an unwelcome visitor to be waiting outside his house, perfectly recognizable even in the dark.

jiho walks to the door alone. taeil had driven a few blocks down to park his car as a precaution - jiho told him it wasn’t necessary to worry about being caught by reporters at this time of night, but he still insisted, so the younger male gave in. he’s just reaching into his jacket pocket for his house key when he sees the figure, lazily leaning against the door with hands shoved into pockets.

“woo jiho,” says the familiar voice that jiho hasn’t heard in what feels like forever. it sends a shiver down jiho’s spine, makes him stiffen involuntarily as he meets the gaze of the other male. “it’s been a while.”

“kyung,” the songwriter grits his teeth. he certainly hadn’t planned on seeing kyung like this, and there’s no way he could have prepared himself for the encounter. the only thing he can do is quickly raise a defense, be as hostile as he can manage. “i thought i told you not to come back here ever again.” if only he could get rid of kyung before taeil gets there.

“oh, but i reasoned you couldn’t mean it. afterall, you always end up missing me even when you don’t say it,” kyung grins haphazardly, taking a step forward. “so how has it been, not having anyone to rely on these past few-”

he stops abruptly when he catches sight of taeil as the singer comes to jiho’s side. there’s a moment of tense silence as taeil notices kyung, takes note of the way kyung scrutinizes him. he gives jiho a look, one that jiho can’t bring himself to return.

it’s not that he hadn’t wanted to tell taeil about kyung. well, in his defense, he’d felt no need for the subject to be breached, and up until this very moment, he’d believed kyung had left him alone for good.

clearly he’d been mistaken.

he knows he’ll have to explain this. he’ll have to open up to taeil, something he’d been avoiding doing for as long as they’d been seeing each other. taeil had been so generous in talking about himself, but jiho could never be the same, too scared that sharing too much would lead to a definite separation.

he wonders if he’s even left with a choice now, with the way kyung’s expression slowly becomes smug.

“who’s he, jiho?” the shorter male asks, confidence returning. “don’t tell me you’re actually sleeping around now. congrats! i didn’t think you had it in you.”

“shut up,” jiho mutters, trembling as rage boils in the pit of his stomach.

“am i wrong, then?” kyung feigns surprise. “then please, by all means, enlighten me as to why anyone in their right mind would go home with you if it wasn’t to fuck you. he definitely looks like the type.” at that, taeil’s eyes widen, and jiho resists the urge to lash out and punch kyung square in the jaw.

“don’t you dare talk about him, park kyung. i’m warning you,” he says darkly.

“alright, no need to get offended, i was only stating the obvious,” kyung raises his hands. “fine, we’ll just make this about you, then.” he strides forward, ignoring the way jiho flinches back a step as he gets closer. “i didn’t get to finish my question. that is, unless you’d rather not answer. i figured you’d be really needing my company by now, that’s why i came.”

jiho feels taeil place a hand on his back in a comforting gesture, the sensation reminding him that he’s not the same person he was months ago when kyung first left.

he needs to be stronger. he needs to stand up for himself. he’s not alone anymore.

“i’ll repeat myself one more time,” he says, voice quiet. “i told you not to come back. you’re not welcome here, kyung.”

the shorter male seems unphased. “that’s true, but you’ve never been good at saying what you mean,” he says casually, coming closer.

“are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?” jiho’s words cause kyung to freeze. “because last time i checked, i was very straightforward. it’s you who can’t admit that you’re the one who missed me.”

without warning, the shorter male reaches out and grabs a fistful of jiho’s jacket, yanking him to eye level, scowl on his face. out of the corner of his eye, jiho watches taeil grow tense, but the older male stays where he is. “don’t be ridiculous,” kyung utters thickly. “you’ve always relied on me, jiho.”

in a way, he’s right. in the past, jiho’s attachment to his relationship with kyung had ruined him. but jiho’s moved on. and in doing so, he realizes just how much their relationship had meant to the other male. that the reason kyung acted the way he had was to make jiho dependent on him, to ensure that jiho couldn’t live without him.

“not anymore,” jiho says, coldly meeting kyung’s gaze. “i gave you too many chances, and you abused me and my trust. right now, the only one who can’t let go is you.”

kyung bites his lip, making a face like he’d just tasted something sour. after a moment, he releases jiho, taking a step back.

“fine. you’re right.” the admission causes jiho’s eyes to widen. “goddammit, jiho, why don’t you get it? i’m the only one who understands you. don’t act like our past can just be brushed under the rug because it’s can’t.” he smiles bitterly. “you’re still the same, nervous woo jiho. you still don’t trust anyone. you still can’t open up, and you still think that no one will ever truly be interested in you.” jiho swallows hard, not moving when kyung steps forward again. “you’re a fluke, jiho. a mistake. you made it big, and then you lost sight of who you are. you pushed everyone away, and now you’re scared that you’ll always be alone. you’re broken and there’s no way to fix you.”

in spite of all of his hard work, even in spite of the presence of taeil behind jiho, the songwriter feels his resolve cracking.

kyung is spot-on. give him a whole year and he’d still be dead right about jiho.

god, jiho is an idiot. he was so stupid to let himself get this far, to actually think he could change. what good did any of it do?

he’ll probably never finish that song. taeil will get bored with him, and so will jaehyo and anyone else who tries to get to know him.

it was pointless. there’s no way jiho can get better.

the uncertainty must be plain on his face because kyung is smiling again, clearly pleased with himself. “see, this is what i meant, jiho. you’re weak. you’re weak, and i’m the only person who really understands you. you don’t mean it when you say you want me to leave.”

but there is is again, taeil’s hand on jiho’s back. warm, encouraging. jiho startles at the contact, glancing back to meet the singer’s gaze. there’s something in his expression that catches jiho off guard.

it’s hard to pinpoint, but after a second, it hits him. this is taeil supporting him. this is taeil’s way of showing that he believes in jiho. this is his way of telling jiho that he knows jiho can stand up for himself.

taking a deep breath, jiho tries to sort his thoughts. he reminds himself that he’s not the same person he used to be. that he’s discovered that people are more genuine than he used to think. that taeil does care about him, even in this unexplainable situation. the singer doesn’t know kyung, barely knows anything about jiho’s life, but he still has faith in the jiho of the present.

and that’s all jiho needs.

“you’re wrong,” he forces his voice to be steady. kyung’s expression immediately falters. “i’m stronger than you think. and you know what? if you don’t leave in the next few minutes, i’m going to physically make you.”

“but-” kyung mutters feebly.

“no, i’m done listening to you,” jiho exhales and stands taller. “i’m serious. get out of here. and if i see you around after this, i can guarantee i won’t be so tolerant.”

the shorter male stays where he is for a moment longer, dissatisfaction evident on his features. finally, he gives in, shoulders slumping in defeat. he doesn’t offer any other words to jiho, just pushes past him and taeil with his hands back in his pockets.

with kyung’s presence gone, jiho feels almost all of his energy leave him. it takes sheer willpower to lead taeil into the house, and then it’s all he can do before he collapses onto the older boy, clinging to him and fighting to keep his breath even.

“it’s okay, jiho,” taeil says softly, “you’re okay.”

****  
  


 

with difficulty, taeil manages to kick off his shoes and lead jiho to the couch where he sits down and allows the songwriter to lay on him, face buried against his chest. jiho’s mind is still reeling, and he knows taeil won’t ask unless prompted. but this is something they need to talk about.

“ask me about him,” jiho says. taeil stirs a bit, shifting to let jiho attempt to push off of him. “please.”

taeil looks at jiho solemnly, trying to read his expression before responding. “alright. who was he?” is the soft inquiry.

jiho mentally beats himself up for not trying to fully think up an explanation before going into this. there’s a lot that needs explaining, and he’s not sure if he’ll even cover all of it, but at this point, he at least needs to try

“park kyung,” jiho answers, slumping against taeil’s shoulder. “he’s… kind of my ex-boyfriend.”

he can practically hear taeil’s brow arch. “kind of?”

jiho thinks for a moment. “we were never… explicitly dating.” he looks down at his hands. “we’ve known each other since we were kids. around high school, we got into this... thing. we’d fuck whenever my parents weren’t home. i thought it was just hormonal since neither of us could get laid, but it messed me up pretty bad and made me really… dependant on him.”

hesitating before going on, jiho steals a look at taeil’s face to find the older boy watching him attentively. “when i first started out writing songs, kyung was the one who got me through all of my rough spots. in a way, he was a source of strength to me, but i think that was my downfall. i couldn’t change, but he did. i think he was jealous of my success, and that’s why he decided to follow in my footsteps. since we’d both been into hip-hop growing up, he thought it would be a good idea to rap. but it didn’t really go the way he wanted.

“the first company he signed to screwed him over. they didn’t even give him an official contract, and basically kicked him out after his debut bombed. he was a wreck after that. i think that’s around the time he started to distance himself from me. he’d be hard to reach, would purposefully ignore me. still, i stupidly clung to our relationship, to the point that i even helped get him signed to a different company.

“second time around, he was a little more successful. he at least gained some popularity, which went straight to his head. he started sleeping around. he thought i didn’t know, but i could always tell when he would come over with somebody else’s scent.”

jiho swallows hard, memories flooding him as he speaks. this is the first time he’s talked about this to anyone. it feels… relieving, in a sense. but he can’t bring himself to look at taeil again, even when he finishes.

“i finally broke it off with him some months ago. i’d had enough, you know? but it was around then that i realized the effects of being so reliant on somebody. i was all alone for the first time. and it hurt.” trailing off, he nestles a little closer to the singer, fingers searching for and finding taeil’s hand. “but that was when i finally got to meet you.”

now he does look up, unsurprised to see that taeil’s gaze hasn’t left him. “i’d already been so drawn to you after hearing you sing for the first time last year. it was like being splashed with ice water after being dazed. when i’d pretty much given up on raw feeling, you restored all of my hope. if it weren’t for you, i’d have probably retired by now. but listening to you sing kept me going, even when all i wanted was to disappear.

“i’ve always thought…” again, jiho hesitates. taeil squeezes his hand once. “i mean, i’m not strong. it’s hard for me to stand on my own, and i always thought that nobody would want to have anything to do with me once they found that out. that’s why i had so much trouble opening up to anyone. that’s why up until now, i didn’t have anyone i could call a friend. i figured that people were only interested in the celebrity woo jiho, that no one would see me as a person.

“but after i met you, i realized... i was just creating these problems myself. i’ve been coming to terms with my tendency to over-think things, and i’ve been working on not letting myself be blinded by the what-ifs. but not only that, i… i’ve been focusing on what i want, too. i used to think that what i wanted didn’t matter, but…” taeil gives his hand another squeeze. “you’ve shown me that it’s possible to look at both sides. that what both of us wants is important.” he gives the older male a small smile. “you’ve taught me a lot, and i’m honestly so grateful to have met you. when jaehyo said i was your inspiration at one time, i could hardly believe it considering how much you’ve done for me. it just makes me even more glad that we met.

and i was scared to tell you about kyung because… i don’t know. i guess i didn’t want you to have a bad opinion of me. i didn’t want my past to affect the way you see me. i didn’t want you to see that i’m… like this. or used to be like that. i just… you mean so much to me, and i didn’t want you to see me at my worst.”

the silence that follows jiho’s last words makes him tense, but it’s only for a moment. before he can even think to look over at the singer, he feels the warmth gone from his fingers, hands cupping his chin and lips pressing gently against his.

taeil kisses him for a long while, jiho weakly holding onto the older male’s sleeves in order to keep himself upright. when taeil pulls back, he’s quick to wrap an around the songwriter, letting jiho’s head rest on his shoulder. jiho is breathless as he leans against taeil, the kiss having sparked not only blush along his face, but a fluttery feeling in his chest. the fact that taeil can still kiss him like that after all he’s said is a definite reassurance of the older boy’s feelings.

“i could never have a bad opinion of you, jiho,” taeil says, lifting one hand to brush his fingers through jiho’s hair, “i hope you know that. and i’m glad you told me everything.”

“... you don’t think i’m pathetic?” jiho mumbles, blushing when taeil lets out a light laugh.

“pathetic? why would i think that?” taeil gives him an affectionately teasing look. “you’re a human being, woo jiho, of course you’ve had to deal with shit. but you’re learning and growing, and i’m honored to be a part of it.”

at that, jiho has to actively fight back tears. god, he hates being emotional. he’s had so much pent up anxiety, been stressed about this for so long, and yet taeil is able to quell his nerves with just a few words. he’ll never get how the singer does it, but he’s more thankful than he can express.

it’s all he can do but try to shift closer, nuzzling his head against taeil’s shoulder. “thank you,” he mutters.

taeil hums, continuing to card a few fingers through jiho’s hair. “you know, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. i’ve seen it, even before now, and that’s why i didn’t say anything outside. of course, i didn’t want to interfere, but i knew you could handle it on your own.” blush threatens jiho again. “in fact, i… used to be jealous of how strong you are.” the younger male watches taeil’s expression turn nostalgic. “you’ve always worked so hard, and that’s why you’re successful, but me... i give up too easily.”

the younger boy suddenly sits up, eyes searching taeil. “... does this… have to do with when you auditioned for a few companies but didn’t make it...?” jiho is hesitant with his question, and taeil gives him a sad smile. “can i… ask what happened?”

“well, you’ve given me an explanation, so i guess it only makes sense for me to return the favor,” the singer nods, “ though i’m not sure how much jaehyo has told you.”

“all he said was that you tried to become a singer but it didn’t work out,” jiho fills in.

”and that you were my inspiration,” taeil adds, quirking a brow and causing jiho to blush once more. the older male thinks for a moment before going on. “i suppose it started around that time. i’d sung in choir in high school, but it wasn’t something i really wanted to pursue after that. singing became something i did on my own time, and i sort of figured i’d never be able to make a career out of it.”

“jaehyo said there was more behind that…?” the songwriter interrupts, shrinking back as taeil’s brow goes up again.

“i’m something of an introvert,” the singer says. “for that reason, not many people had faith in me when it came to performances. i was talented, but i used to prefer just blending in with the other singers. it never occurred to me that i could sing on my own, and even when the idea was proposed, it was shot down by everyone involved. you could say i had low self confidence back then.” he lets out a sad, light laugh, the sound twisting jiho’s stomach into knots. “it wasn’t until jaehyo encouraged me that i began to work harder at it, and even then, it took me until you first popped up to really become passionate about singing.

“you were so young when you first started writing songs, i could hardly believe you were a real person.” taeil’s eyes light up as he gives jiho an amused look. “everyone called you a prodigy, and at first, i thought it was a joke. but when i listened to your songs, it was like… i don’t even know how to describe it, but i… well, to put it simply, i fell in love. everything was so heartfelt. it was amazing to me that such raw emotions could come from someone who was younger than me.

“it came down to this: i wanted to sing your songs. i thought if i could become a big enough star, you might write something for me, and i’d have the chance to be a part of something so incredible.” his words remind jiho of the sheet music sitting just a few feet away on the coffee table. “but stardom is a lot easier said than done. i was turned down time after time.”

“why?” the word slips out before jiho can stop it. he hurries to elaborate, “your voice is amazing. i don’t understand how anyone could think otherwise.”

“the reason wasn’t because of my voice,” taeils exhales, smiling a bit bitterly. “i was told that i didn’t have the look of an idol.”

jiho’s eyes widen. “it was really because of a petty reason like that??” he exclaims. taeil nods, shrugging.

“eventually, i just gave up and accepted my fate. i wasn’t meant to be famous. but all the auditioning showed me how comfortable i really was with singing in front of people, so that’s when i started looking for other outlets. when jaehyo got a job at that karaoke bar, he invited me to come sing there. ever since then, that’s where i’ve been going.” gesturing with his hands, taeil finishes with, “i think that covers everything.”

jiho sits still for a moment, ignoring the urge to grab his work and immediately show it to taeil. “i still don’t get it,” he says, brow furrowing. “how could they turn you away? you’re… i mean, you’re…” unable to come up with an accurate adjective results in the younger boy becoming more and more flustered. “...very attractive...” he finally gets out, wanting to hide under something when taeil laughs.

“yes, but you’re biased,” the singer grins, leaning over to plant a brief kiss on his lips. “you’re my boyfriend, you’re supposed to think i’m attractive.”

jiho huffs a little at that. he wants to explain that he’d always thought the older male was good looking, even back when he first saw him the first time he went to the karaoke bar, but he knows taeil won’t listen.

instead, he remembers the singer’s words and gets up, retrieving the papers from the coffee table. “here,” he says, “this was the original reason i wanted you to come over.”

confused, taeil accepts the sheets from him, examining them with interest. “what’s this?” he asks curiously.

“new song i’ve been working on,” jiho tells him, sheepishly averting his gaze. normally he doesn’t feel any embarrassment letting other people look at his work, but right now he feels extremely self conscious, and he knows it’s because this is taeil. “i… to be honest, i’ve been writing it with you in mind. i was hoping… that you might do me the honor of singing it for me.”

taeil nearly drops the thin stack of paper. “wh-what?” he chokes out, gaping at the songwriter. “you can’t be serious, jiho.”

“considering you’ve been the inspiration for it, i’d say i’m pretty serious,” jiho continues to look anywhere but at taeil. “it’s still in progress, so i wanted to get your input on it. i thought we could finish the rest together and then present the final product to the ceo of my company. you can trust me when i say he’s a fair guy, he’ll definitely sign you once he’s heard your voice.”

“you’d really do that for me??” taeil exclaims, standing up abruptly, papers clutched tightly in his hands. the sudden movement startles jiho into looking up and meeting his gaze.

“wh- i- of course!” jiho gets out, surprised. “you know how much i love your voice. it’s been a long time since i actually had the motivation to work on my own song, so it’d mean a lot to work with you on it.”

taeil continues to stare at him for a moment longer before promptly sitting down again, eyes returning to the sheet music. “i can’t believe… you’ve really been working on this for me...?” he mutters, stunned. “it’s just… and i only just told you how this had been my dream...” he falls silent, only to let out a breathless laugh a second later. “jiho, you’re truly amazing.” without warning, he leans over and catches the songwriter in an open-mouthed kiss that leaves jiho pink-faced.

“... so is that a yes?” he manages to ask. he remembers the time taeil had mentioned preferring to sing for an audience, runs over taeil’s words just now about his attempts at auditioning to become an idol, and can’t help thinking it really must have been fate that brought them together. jaehyo was right.

“that shouldn’t even be a question,” taeil answers, laughing again. “definitely.”

****  
  


 

despite his earlier excuse, taeil waves off jiho’s reminders of, “you should go soon. didn’t you say you had to feed your fish?”

“it’s already late,” the singer says, adamantly refusing to move from the couch. “and besides, my fish will be fine for one night. i’d rather stay here with you.” it’s sweet, really, and jiho would want to tease the older male about it if he weren’t so exhausted from the evening’s turn of events.

rather, he simply lets taeil drag him to bed, not putting up a fight as the singer straddles him, tugging his shirt over his head. “just relax and i’ll take care of you, alright?” taeil says, gently planting a few kisses to jiho’s jawline and neck. “we’ll work on everything tomorrow, but for now, i’ll help you unwind.”

jiho really likes the sound of that.

and it feels even better than it sounds. even in his tired state, jiho can’t help being a little noisy as taeil sucks him off.

the next morning, they take their time getting up. the younger male enjoys curling up against taeil, face buried against his chest, listening to his breath and feeling his chest rise and fall. it’s a while before the singer convinces him to get up, and then it’s a quick breakfast with excellent coffee - how taeil had hid his skill in this area is a mystery to jiho -  before taeil’s waving the sheet music in front of jiho.

“how do you want to work on this?” he asks, flipping through the sheets. “we’ll probably need something of a studio if we want to make anything presentable.”

“i thought of that,” jiho says, pursing his lips. “my first thought was that we could go to my studio, but that would draw too much attention. i was hoping… well, since you’ve got such high quality equipment at your place, i thought we could…” taeil’s face lights up in understanding.

“ah, that’s a good idea!” he nods. “we’ll definitely have more privacy at my house than if we went to a public studio. i’m a little surprised you don’t have any equipment here, jiho.”

jiho shuffles his feet, looking down. “i used to,” he admits. “back when i first started, i preferred writing everything on my own before showing the company. as i gained more popularity, though, i got used to having people watch me. nowadays i prefer to keep my home and work separate.”

“good to know,” taeil smiles, eyes shining. jiho feels pink tinge his cheeks. so this is what it feels like to talk about himself openly. he thinks he can definitely get used to it.

after talking it over, jiho decides to bring some clothes and other necessities with him when they leave for taeil’s house. rather than going back and forth, the two decide it’ll be easier for jiho to stay with him, and the songwriter is in no way opposed to the idea. it just means more efficient work, and more nights spent wrapped in the older male’s scent.

on top of that, to make it easier to get work done, taeil calls in sick from his job. he informs jiho of the absurd amount of sick days he’d accumulated over the past two years of working there, and jiho can’t help but agree that now is a good time to use them.

kyung calls a few days later. jiho gets the voicemail when taeil goe to take a shower, leaving jiho to get ready for bed after they finish work for the day. his throat involuntarily tightens as he recognizes the number; he’d deleted kyung’s contact from his phone a long time ago, but he thinks it’ll take more than that for him to forget the number that he’d so often dialed.

the content of the message isn’t at all what he’d expect though, even when it takes him a whole ten minutes to work up the courage to listen to it.

there’s silence at the beginning, kyung taking a deep breath. then, “i’m sorry, jiho.

“you were right. you’ve always been right, and i was too stubborn to see it. i was an asshole. i wanted you to need me. i wanted things to go back to they way they used to be, but i don’t even deserve it. i acted like i know you the best, but i was wrong. you’ve grown to be someone stronger than i could have imagined, and i’m grateful to have been with you, even if it was for such despicable reasons.

“i know i’m not a good person. i can’t express myself easily, and i hurt the people around me because of it. i didn’t want to change. but seeing you that last time, i feel like i understand myself a little better. i have a better idea of what i need to do, and what i need to improve on, and i’ll work hard to be someone who you won’t be ashamed to be associated with.

“that being said, the reason for this message isn’t to somehow convince you to let me back into your life. in fact, i’m glad you didn’t pick up, because i’m reading off of a paper right now. i knew if i didn’t write this all out beforehand, i wouldn’t get it right, and if you actually answered, i’d probably have just hung up because i’m still the asshole you always knew.

“anyway, like i said, i don’t want you to feel like i’m trying to win you back. the way i currently am, i know that’d be detrimental to both of us, and as hard as it may be to believe, my only desire is for you to be happy. that’s why i’m going away for good.”

there’s a pause, during which jiho’s heart skips a beat, but he lets out a relieved breath when the message continues. “you probably don’t remember, but when you pushed me away the first time, the guy i was seeing at the time was lee minhyuk. he’s a naturalist i met at one of my company parties, since he’s old friends with the ceo. well, he took a strong liking to me, even despite my... obvious faults. i think he’ll be good for me. he’s been encouraging me to improve myself, and i can tell he really believes i can change, so that’s why i decided to move in with him. he works a few hours away from seoul in this kind of naturey place, said it’ll be good for me to get away from the city. you don’t have to worry about bumping into me anymore. my contract with my company terminated last month, too. and i’m getting rid of this phone after this call, so i won’t feel the need to bug you.

“i know i was a bastard to you, and i’m not asking for forgiveness. i guess… i just want you to know that i’m gonna try to be better. so… if you have it in your heart, even after everything i put you through, i hope maybe some day in the future, you might look back and think at least a little kindly of me.  
“that’s all, i guess. oh, one last thing, that guy you were with... i didn’t get his name, but i could tell you meant a lot to him. boy did he have a good death glare. i thought he was going to beat me up for sure when i was talking bad about you…” there’s another pause for kyung to cough uncomfortably, and jiho can’t help but laugh a little.

“anyway, i hope you’re happy. don’t let the likes of me get you down. i take back everything i said. oh, and i promise i’ll work on my coffee making, too. minhyuk told me it really does taste like shit - see? you were even right about that.” jiho lets out another, softer laugh. “that’s really it, i promise. best of wishes, jiho. you keep working hard and stay happy, you hear me?”

after another bout of silence, there’s a click to signal that kyung had hung up, and jiho can only sit there dumbly with his phone still held to his ear. he can hardly digest what he’d heard, but it leaves him feeling somewhat giddy.

he listens to the message two more times before taeil finally comes into the bedroom, towel draped over his shoulder, wet hair dangling messily over his forehead. without thinking, jiho drops his phone and gets up from the bed, clearing the distance between them in three large strides and running his fingers through the wet strands.

“what is it?” taeil gives him a look of mixed amusement and confusion.

jiho’s first instinct is to reply with, “nothing,” but he catches himself. open. he wants to be open with taeil. “kyung called,” he says, moving down to hook his arms around taeil’s neck. taeil gazes at him quizzically for a moment, waiting for him to elaborate. “he left a message, i think you should hear it yourself.”

he releases the singer so that both of them can move to the bed where he retrieves his phone and puts it on speakerphone. taeil sits calmly as the voicemail plays through, keeping his eyes on jiho who does his best not to fidget.

when it ends, the younger male waits a minute before speaking. “so? what do you think?” he inquires eagerly.

taeil gives him a look. “i should be the one asking that question,” he says, relaxing into a more comfortable position. “he’s your ‘ex-boyfriend,’ after all.”

jiho face flushes. “well, i…” he tries to gather his thoughts. “i know he’s being serious. i can honestly say i’ve never heard him… talk so genuinely before. it’s… relieving, i think. i feel better knowing he’s trying to be a better person.” he shifts, averting his gaze to his knees as he pulls them to his chest. “i don’t know if i can get over the shit he put me through right away, but… as long as i know he’s working to change, i feel like it’ll be alright. i feel like… i can finally trust what he says, you know.”

a smile brightens taeil’s face. “you’re very mature, jiho. i’m proud of you,” the singer tells him fondly, scooting forward to lean with his arms folded on top of the younger male’s knees. his smile grows with the color on jiho’s cheeks

“i just don’t think it’s worth it to hang onto bad feelings,” jiho mutters, pointedly avoiding taeil’s eyes. “if i do that, then i won’t ever be happy. trust me, i’ve had enough of that to last me the rest of my life, and i’d much rather make the best of it while i still can.” he finally looks up, biting his lip. “besides, how am i supposed to finish this song if i’m focused on everything bad that’s happened to me?”

“that’s right,” taeil leans even closer, letting the tips of their noses touch. “and i’m bad at dealing with pessimistic people, so it’s a good thing we can agree on this, isn’t it.”

“yeah,” jiho mumbles, tilting his head slightly to have access to taeil’s lips. he hesitates before kissing the older male, gingerly nipping and sighing contentedly as taeil opens his mouth for him.

it’s a little while before they actually get in bed.

****  
  


 

the work on the song takes the rest of the week, including the weekend. both of them are so invested in finishing it that they forget to tell jaehyo they won’t be coming to the bar. sizable angry texts are left on both their phones, to which taeil sends back a, “we’ve been busy, sorry hyo. we’ll come next week,” as he and jiho laugh at how immersed they’d been in recording the final product.

it’s a little after noon in the middle of the week when jiho gets around to calling jihoon. he’s a slight bit anxious to bring up the subject to him, not because he doesn’t think the ceo will turn him down, but because it’s been so long since he presented his own idea.

the ceo answers almost immediately, sounding quite excited to hear from the songwriter. “jiho! i’ve been waiting for you to call, i was wondering how you’re doing,” he says happily.

“i’m good, actually,” jiho says, shooting a look at taeil who sits across from him. “you sound well. how’re things with delight going?”

“wonderful! they’ve started learning the choreography for their debut song. they’re such quick learners, it’s a joy to watch,” the ceo says, undoubtedly pleased. “but i’m sure you didn’t call me to talk about my girls. what’s on your mind, jiho?”

a grin tugs at jiho’s mouth. he knew he could count on jihoon to catch on. “are you busy right now?” he asks.

there’s a pause and the rustling sound of paper as the ceo presumably checks his schedule. “no, my next appointment isn’t until later this afternoon. why? did you need something from me?”

“actually, i was hoping… that maybe i could introduce you to somebody,” jiho says. this instantly catches jihoon’s attention.

“oh? who is it? a new talent? oh, jiho, you’ve outdone yourself. where should we meet? i think one of the audition rooms should be free right now, do you want to come down?”

“that sounds good,” the songwriter chuckles. he knew the ceo would be enthusiastic. he really does have a lot of faith in jiho. “we’ll be there in about half an hour, i think.”

“perfect! oh, now you’ve got me interested. who is it? male or female? someone young? singer? dancer?” jihoon gushes. “ah, wait, don’t tell me! i want to be surprised! make sure you hurry down here, okay? i’ll see you soon.”

with that, he hangs up, and jiho slips his phone into his pocket, giving taeil a thumbs up. “he’s excited to meet you,” the songwriter beams. “are you ready?”

taking a deep breath, taeil attempts to smooth out a few wrinkles in his button down shirt. “as ready as i’ll ever be,” he frowns slightly. “but are you sure this is okay to wear? shouldn’t i dress more… i don’t know, formally if this is going to be an audition?”

“trust me,” jiho shakes his head, “it’ll make so much more of an impact if you go in how you normally dress. besides, this look suits you the most. it’s perfect. i love it.”

taeil’s frown deepens as he nudges jiho with an elbow, faint pink dusting his cheeks. “even now, you’re still too much, woo jiho,” he mutters, but before jiho can protest, he adds a quiet, “thanks,” which puts a wide smile on the younger male’s face.

“let’s go,” jiho says, gesturing with his head toward the door.

on the way there, jiho tells taeil about the company, and about the ceo. “he’s young, but he’s got what it takes to manage everything,” jiho says confidently. “he’s been here for a little more than two years, took over when our last ceo retired, but i can honestly say he’s done a better job. he has a knack for music, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that he’ll only need a few notes to convince him to sign you.”

“i hope you’re right,” taeil says, lips pursed as he gazes out the car window.

unsurprisingly, nervous taeil doesn’t last long. by the time they arrive at the company building and jiho shows taeil around, he seems quite prepared to meet jihoon, even showing interest in having a tour of the building once they’re done.

“if this doesn’t go well, woo jiho, i’m suing you,” the singer says as jiho reaches for the door handle of the audition room. jiho gives him a cheeky grin before pulling the door open.

jihoon is waiting inside, pacing, and he perks up when he sees them enter, immediately coming over to greet them. jiho feels taeil stiffen beside him, clearly caught off guard by the ceo’s appearance. “welcome, welcome!” jihoon smiles eagerly, glancing between the singer and the songwriter. “hello, my name is pyo jihoon, and i’m the ceo of this company. it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he offers out his hand.

taeil seems to remember himself as he reaches out and shakes it. “lee taeil,” he introduces, also smiling.

“my, you have a pleasant voice,” jihoon’s eyes widen as he gives jiho a look. “a singer, if i’m not mistaken…?”

“that’s right,” jiho nods, gratified that the ceo can tell that easily.

“and i would also be right in thinking you prepared something to show me,” jihoon claps his hands together, earnestly looking at the two of them. “i’m all ears.”

jiho locates the speakers at the back of the room, so the three migrate to the back where jiho can attach his phone to play the backing track. they’d worked hard to prepare the music, and taeil, having a good memory, had memorized the vocal parts with ease. jiho is eager for their work to be heard, and even more determined to see taeil’s talent recognized.

as jiho had predicted, jihoon is obviously hooked after only the first few notes of the song. listening to it like this for the first time makes jiho both happy and incredibly proud; for one, because this song is so much more raw than anything else he’s written, but also because it’s taeil who’s singing it. taeil, whose voice gives him chills and makes him truly appreciate everything that’s happened in his life in the past few months.

it’s a powerful song. jiho has to admit it’s possibly one of his best, enjoys the way jihoon seems to crumble after taeil gets to the last line. even taeil seems confident, taking a deep breath and giving jiho a small smile.

it takes a few moments for jihoon to find his voice. when he does, he looks at jiho and asks, “are you sure he’s not signed to another company?”

“dead sure,” jiho nods.

“you’ve got to be kidding me,” jihoon’s shoulders sag, staring at taeil. “there’s no way… i mean, he’s… that voice…” he trails off, sagging even more. “i don’t even feel worthy to offer you a contract, but if there’s anyone whose songs are suited for your absolutely wonderful voice, it would be our woo jiho.” taeil turns a little pink at that. “is that what this song was? one of your works, jiho?”

“yes,” the songwriter nods again. “i’ve been working on it for the last few weeks, and taeil helped me complete it. i wrote it for him.” once the words are out, he claps a hand to his mouth, face flushing. “i-i mean- that is, i discovered him a while ago and used his voice as inspiration. th-that’s it.”

jihoon cocks a brow at him, straightening and folding his arms. “i’m not surprised. i can’t even write music and i still have admit that his voice is very inspiring in that aspect.” he once again glances between the two, seeming to mull something over. “would a five year contract be okay with you? i’ve got the paperwork in my office if you want to fill it out right now, or you can do it on your own time and bring it back sometime this week.”

“y-you’ll really sign me??” taeil blurts out.

“of course,” jihoon gives him something of an affronted look. “i wouldn’t pass up this opportunity for anything else in the world. i’d be honored to have you on this company.”

taeil sort of gapes at the pink-haired male. despite his confidence from before, he appears to hardly have expected to be so well received.

“you don’t…” he starts, seeming to try and think of how to word his question. “my looks aren’t a problem?”

jihoon’s expression becomes bewildered. “your looks?” he repeats, frowning. “why on earth would your looks be a problem?” flustered, taeil tries to come up with an explanation, but before he can respond, the ceo goes on, “you have an air of individuality about you. you’re unique. not the typical aesthetic of an idol singer.” a grin breaks across his face. “i love it.”

taeil falls silent, blush beginning to color the tips of his ears. he utters a quiet, “thank you,” looking down at his feet as jiho goes over to wrap an arm around him.

“see? i told you,” the younger male says happily. “i told you it’d go well.”

“i know,” taeil grumbles, pouting. “let me just… process this for a minute.”

“you two…” jihoon says, drawing their attention to him. “are you two together, by any chance?”

jiho feels warmth flood his face. “that’s-” he starts to say.

“because if you are, it’s certainly not a problem,” jihoon hurries to go on, waving his hands nervously. “i didn’t mean to offend you, or anything! there are no dating policies here, i was just, um, curious. i’m very sorry!”

“we are,” taeil says, nudging jiho in the ribcage. “and thank you for the clarification.”

“absolutely,” jihoon smiles, evidently relieved. “wonderful! no wonder you make such a good team.” both the singer and songwriter blush at that.

the three of them move to jihoon’s office afterward, the ceo rummaging through a file cabinet to procure the right paperwork. “here,” he hands a packet to taeil. “this covers everything about our procedures, as well as what you’ll be allowed to do once you’re signed. unlike other companies, we’re a little more lax on restrictions, but i hope you’ll still work hard.”

“of course,” taeil says sincerely.

“feel free to look everything over and fill it out at your own pace. although, if you could get it to me by the end of the week, that would be lovely. oh, and i hope you’ll be debuting with the song you performed…?” jiho nods his head. “this is perfect, i can’t wait to make the announcement! oh, but we’ll have to plan when to do your photoshoots and such, as well. we’ll have to have a chat with the stylists, too, i definitely don’t want to change your aesthetic. ah, but i still have delight’s debut coming up, hm…”

“don’t worry about my debut just yet, then,” taeil tells him. “i don’t mind waiting. me and jiho can just use the time to practice more.”

“splendid. you’re already so professional,” the ceo says fondly, patting the singer on the shoulder. “then i’ll leave you two to go over things. i’ve got an appointment soon, so i’d better run, but we’ll talk more later. thank you so much for such a wonderful opportunity.”

“i should be the one saying that,” taeil bows his head, and jihoon gives him a delighted smile before excusing himself from the office.

with the ceo gone, taeil lets out a long breath, shoulders slumping and limbs going limp. jiho puts an arm around him, leading him over to one of the chair at the wall adjacent to jihoon’s desk and sitting him down. he kneels and put his arms on taeil’s legs, looking up at the singer affectionately.

“you did it, taeil,” he says softly.

“all thanks to you,” the singer mutters, still clutching the papers jihoon had given him. “if you hadn’t given me the means, i wouldn’t be here right now.”

“sure, but the credit also belongs to you,” jiho reminds him, grinning. “my help wouldn’t have done much if you weren’t the amazingly talented singer that you are.”

the older boy makes a face. “now you’re just flattering me.”

“but it’s true,” the songwriter laughs. “even you have to admit that your performance back there was flawfree.”

“... but you were the one who wrote the song that made me sound so good,” taeil pouts.

“and you helped!” jiho reaches up and cups the singer’s face, squeezing his cheeks. “you deserve every bit of this, so stop making this about me. it’s about both of us, remember?”

taeil stares at him for a brief moment, suppressing a slight smirk “... you can be that corny at a time like this…”

“well, somebody’s gotta do it,” jiho grins, pushing off the floor to catch the older boy in a kiss before straightening fully. “now what do you say to a tour of the building? or do you want to head back now? we can always tour when we come back to turn in the paperwork.”

“no, i want to do it now,” taeil says decidedly, following suit and also standing.

“are you sure?” jiho asks. “i mean, this was kind of overwhelming, i understand if you want to just relax-”

“i’m not a kid, woo jiho,” taeil gives him an amused look. “let’s do the tour.”

jiho’s grin widens. “alright then, follow me.”

the younger male finds he quite enjoys showing taeil around. he likes taking him to the studio, and he likes showing the singer where everything happens. they make a stop at the practice rooms where they bump into yukwon, one of the backup dancers jiho had known since his first days at the company. he’d worked his way up, going so far as to become one of the company’s own choreographers.

now that jiho thinks about it, yukwon is probably someone jiho can call a friend. this realization is comforting - jiho is making progress. he’s improving, not letting himself get distracted by the idea that people might not actually like him. especially when yukwon looks so genuinely happy to see him.

“jiho, long time no see!” the dancer greets eagerly, bounding over to talk to him. “how’ve you been doing? any new songs i should keep my ears out for?”

“i’ve been great, actually,” jiho tells him. “and there is one, but for now it’s a secret. how about you? i heard you got praise for your professionalism during a recent performance when the backing track stopped playing but you kept going and stayed perfectly on beat. way to go, kwon.”

“shucks, when you put it that way...” the dancer laughs, scratching the back of his neck. “i wasn’t the only one, though,” he pauses to point behind him at a short-haired female dancer who’d taken a break by the mirrored-wall, a water bottle in her hand. “that’s sunhye. she’s one of our new recruits, but she’s really good. it was the two of us who kept going.”

jiho cocks a brow. “aha, so it was the two of you…” he winks suggestively, and yukwon lets out another laugh, this time sounding a little embarrassed.  

“yeah, she’s incredible. i’m thankful she’s here.” at that, the dancer takes notice of taeil, his eyes lighting up. “ah, who’s your friend? a new trainee?”

“you could say that,” jiho says, beckoning for taeil to come forward a little more. “this is taeil. we actually just got done getting his contract, so i was showing him around the building.”

“nice!” yukwon grins. “pleasure to meet you, taeil, i’m kim yukwon. i’m in charge of choreography, so if you end up having choreo when you debut, i’ll probably be the one directing it. i hope we can work together in the future!”

the singer goes slightly pale. “yes, nice to meet you, too,” he says, giving a strained smile.

as they leave the practice room, jiho peers over at taeil, smirking a little. “you don’t sound very excited about dancing.”

“are you kidding?” taeil gives him a put out look. “i can’t dance to save my life.”

jiho makes it a goal to see taeil dance at some point.

****  
  


 

after the tour, the pair return to taeil’s house to recuperate. taeil complains about being exhausted, so jiho suggests showering to cool off. averse to the idea at first, taeil easily concedes when jiho offers to shower with him.

they spend the following day filling out the paperwork, jiho explaining what taeil doesn’t get and helping him answer everything correctly. taeil also goes into his job one last time to quit and sort things out. he laughingly relates the disbelief on his coworkers’ faces when he’d informed them all that he would be making a debut as a singer.

on saturday, they drop it all off to jihoon’s office, that evening relaying the information to a rather flabberghasted jaehyo who takes a whole twenty minutes to digest it, but even then he has trouble believing.

“you really did?” he asks taeil for the third time. “i mean, like, it’s totally official?”

“yes,” taeil nods, both exasperated and mildly entertained. “there’s no set date right now, but there’ll be an announcement within the next few weeks.”

“you’re shitting me,” jaehyo says. jiho and taeil stifle laughter. “and this is what you were doing last weekend while i was busy bartending?”

“well, at that time, we were practicing in order to have something presentable,” jiho says, fighting a grin.”sorry, hyo, i guess it was a little unfair to keep you out of the loop.”

“i’ll say,” jaehyo frowns exaggeratedly. “but that aside, i’m really happy for you, taeil. this is seriously amazing.”

“you’re telling me,” taeil says. “and i owe it all to jiho.”

“hey, i thought i told you that-” jiho begins.

“i know, i know, it’s thanks to both of us,” the singer nods. “i’m just grateful is all.”

jaehyo looks at the two of them for a few seconds. “you’ll still come here, won’t you? you won’t forget about me when you’re famous and have a huge fandom of hormonal teenage girls thirsting after you, will you?”

taeil laughs, leaning against jiho for support. “do you really think i’ll end up like that?”

“i sure hope not,” jiho says, mouth forming a straight line. he hadn’t thought about taeil garnering fans before now.

“you’re not jealous, are you?” taeil coos as he takes jiho’s hand in his own. “you know you’re the only one for me.”

reporters are definitely going to catch on. jiho can see it now: “new rookie singer revealed to be dating world famous songwriter woo jiho - jiho allegedly jealous about female fans.” well that sounds pretty pathetic.

when jiho goes home with taeil that night, exchanging kisses with him the instant they’re inside, jiho finds himself thinking that he has everything he wants. he has his motivation back. he has the confidence he’d once lost. he has friends who worry and care about him. but on top of that, he has taeil, and that’s all that matters at the current moment.

he soon discovers that taeil has everything he wants, as well.

 


End file.
